These days, I am on an edge. A real edge. Just go flying off handle for the slightest things. I know why. But can't reason with myself that things have changed. Poor lil mind wont just accept.
Soon, people are going to find the ends of their patience. Lots already found it.

One of my very close friends already had his first date. I was really late catching up with news. Cos every time I knew someone was feeling better, I became all the more gloomy. He thought he would rather not break the news that soon. :) And I had shunned social contact for a long time.
Another, already is fighting marriage. Nah, it seems it is really a trouble when parents decide it is time. And you are not ready. Anyways, I see the pressure right now. And pissed him off a lot cos I was not really understanding and added to the din with my blah blah.
Another, already looking forward to being dumped. I had seen it coming a long way now. But then, it hurts anyways. Emotionally, this is the lowest if you don't count losing someone to death.
Yet another, on a new job and another of his new 'gal friends'.
Then I see my don and diva, appa and amma, walking around like they just got married. God, those guys are growing in love, amen! Daily calls, smses, kisses, hugs, loads of PDA.. Though that makes me envious again.

And this one me, single and painfully alone. It was not this apparent in the past. But now, it is very evident and bit too much sometimes. I always have believed 'Don't go searching for love, let love find you.' And cant imagine having 'casual' relationships. 'Once you are in, you are in. So, better be careful.'
But no hurry. Cos I am perfectly sure that having a relationship is a pain in the @$$ anyways. But still, when I see people having it, moving on, having it, moving, I just go jealous. "What do I lack?"kinda feeling. And a bit too lonely. :) Not that I accept any that come around. It is always a no from me. But you do get lonely.. :)
Hark! Where are you my Knight in Armor? Better get here soon. We gotta talk. :P

PS- Knights without armors, please excuse. And so should ones without guts and commitment . :) No. This is not an open call. Just wrote things down. It takes years for me to commit. So, this wont really serve anything anyways. :) And I don't go talking to random strangers to hook up. So, cut that crap out.

PPS- Though I started off with being on edge, I talked about an altogether different thing in the post. But it is a part of my edginess. So, it does not really matter.

CYA and take care guys. :)
Jo.