Aug 2, 2009

Happening Parts. Part Four

Zindgi beeth rahi thi aisi, ki achanak ek din,....


Varsha eloped. With a guy who was her classmate since KG classes. It made a hell lot of commotion. Her parents came over. And asked us about her affair. I was questioned the most. I hung out with her and was her roommate.
"What does she do in her freetime?"
"Did she inform you where she was going?"
"Has she talked about this guy to you?"
Crap! I should have known behind this silence, a mind was working things out.
Teachers, the hell of gossips, questioning stares, it was pretty difficult to live with all that. Was ground with questions for almost a whole week. Finally they got some info from a person who lived in the locality Varsha and the guy rented a home. She had gotten married. Her 'would have been'? Donno. Now stop questioning me!

Tiring week. I took leave for a week after things diverted from her 'friends'. Me. And took time to relax. [If you could call it that. All I could think was Varsha, Varsha and still more Varsha.] I was really disturbed. I didnt understand why she kept it hidden from us. But when I thought again, she had really no need to share it with us. We would not make any difference. Right? Or could we?

A week later, Karthik, Shyama, Abhimanyu and me got together. Under the Greenwood Tree. Abhimanyu was silent. Shyama too was silent for the first time. The silence almost killed me from inside. After sitting there for almost half and hour, Karthik looked at me accusingly. "Did you know?"
"I didnt."
He looked down. and sighed. "You know, you should have."
Shyama and Abhimanyu didnt even glance up.
"But she never talked much. How was I supposed to know? I thought she was just silent."
Silence...
Karthik opened his mouth to speak again..
"Leave it. Ok? She is happy now." Shyama said suddenly.
We looked at him.
"How do you know?" I asked not able to contain myself.
"I knew" Shyama broke his long meaningful silence
"I knew it all the way. We both knew. She was my class mate till 12th. And I knew about her and Shashank. He will keep her happy. Lets now forget about the whole thing. Can we?"
Karthik got up. Went over to Shyama in an agitated motion. I thought he would slap Shyama. But then,
" Are you sure she will be happy?? " voicing our anxiety.
"I am 100% sure. I know Shashi. He is good. Will keep her happy."

Without a word Karthik walked away. I thought of following him, but could not muster enough energy to do it. I was numb. Shyama knew. Why?? Why did he keep it from us? But if she would be happy, I am happy about it too.. She could have mentioned it.

I didnt go for my practice that day too. Didnt see Karthik or Shyama that day again. Saw Abhimanyu. He was there searching some books in the library. I walked around the shelves to dodge him. Sat there browsing for sometime. Could not concentrate. Left at 8 o' clock.

From next day on even though I sat waiting, under the greenwood tree, neither Narthik, nor Shyama came. Abhimanyu came. But when he saw it was just me, he said something about having to browse and left. He never came again from the next day. In classes, we sat near each other. Me and Karthik.
But when I tried talking, he became very interested in his pen's top and seemed not to hear me. I dont force myself on anyone. And I didnt intend to do it on him either. I stopped trying to talk. And he seemed satisfied. It pained me. But I never tried talking again.

"Was this all friendship is about? Shyama knew and never mentioned. Why blame him? She didnt say. To Durga Nandan too. Must have barred Shyama Krishna. Wonder why people never care to share. Was this what I wanted when I remained here? The episode repeats. How will I know what else is in the others' minds now? How will I trust Durga Nandan now? What if she has something going on too? Shyama Krishna, does he know? Why God! Why cant I trust anyone??!"

Shyama was someone who talked to me, yet remained impersonal. About some random stuff like books, events, GK. What the hell did I do? When I asked him why he never came there, he smiled very unpleasantly.
And said " Some people wont like it. And I dont think I feel too good about our group now. It may never trust me again."
His words had that finality that I knew further argument was of no use.
And he stopped flirting. With everyone. And just talked casually to me about the course now and then. That is it. Abhimanyu was kinda lost in his own world. I didnt dare talk to him.
I had lost my best friends there. And whom I thought were close. And days passed..

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