The other day, someone was telling me to write a post on love. Now, why would I write one on love? Just like the other posts. Randomly.
So, whats love? God knows. As in, they say it is this. But is it this? I googled 'what is love?'. Is it what takes all your pain away? I dont think so. Love could be pain too. Sometimes, a pain in the bum.
Is it - like Mark Twain said- an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired? Well, not always. Like when you are on a down turn, you dont want to be desired. You just need a bit of a company.
I think love is knowing that that person would be with you and hold your hand when you need it most. Know your thoughts when you cant speak. Know your heartbeat, when you cry. And could be dumb enough to crack stupid jokes that makes you laugh at unexpected times. He could be the stupidest idiot at times just to see your smile.
I believe love is just an extension of friendship. I once had a bet with someone "A guy and a gal can never be friends for long. Either they part or fall in love." He said he can prove it is impossible. Well, he was proved wrong. And I know all would agree to this. Here, I am talking about uncommitted people. Either of them just fall in course of time. Dont test it, you risk your emotions.
Another angle I always wanted to know was is sex important? I know its a taboo topic in our land, but does sex matter a lot in love? It certainly seems important. But ours is a society that encourages control till marriage. [I am not talking about the metros.] While it seems an essential part of love, I donno if it is so important as to stop love if not existent. I mean, if you are really in love, cant you wait? And am sure it is not just sex. You need more to carry you forward.
This again brings us back to what is love. Well it, I think, is different in different people's mind. One might need to have constant communication. Another might think the feeling in the heart is all that matters. Even if you could not communicate for some time.
I dont think love should make you blind. I think it should make you see faults and yet accept that person as he or she is. And dont let it make you deaf either. There are some things that you should hear and some things you should pretend you didnt. Cos whatever be, the one you love is not god, he or she is a human and could make mistakes.
Forgiving is hard but it makes life easier. :)
Sometimes, I have wondered why this particular emotion is given too much importance. Probably cos, when you feel it, it is very intense.
Another question I have always asked, does love mean never fighting? Ooops! A big no. Fight is not about love, it is about difference of opinion. And it is I guess needed to see the personal differences in life. And it could make life an adventure for some time. :P
But as always, too much of a thing is not great. So, you keep fighting every once in a while, it becomes a pain in your unmentionable part soon. And you tend to avoid that person.
My mom always said, love is like two intersecting lines. The more time you take to get close and intersect, the more time you take to part as well. Yes, in a way we all make crisscross lines in life, meeting, intersecting, parting... Some stay parallels. Some meet and due to some anomaly or probably a miracle, carry forward as a single line..
Does love mean commitment? Probably not. I mean, you love someone does not mean you have to spend the whole life with that person. Or that you have to make a commitment to love. Sometimes, leaving that person alone is the best thing you could do to him or her. Then, in this case, leaving is loving. Well, for instance, staying with that person could bring more harm to him or her than anything else. Then, leaving is justified. It might take a lot longer time for the other person to see your side though.
Googling took me to a set of "Am I in love" quizzes. Now, can some random person sitting in Africa make a questionnaire to decide whether you are in love? [According to research methodology, yes. But am talking about normal human beings here.] Probably not. They may give you some pointers. But that is it.
So, what is my point? Simply, that it was a compilation of the pointers I got from life. May or may not help you..
Anyways, I am still in a quest to understand love. Hope that quest lasts a life. New angles every day, nothing like that to keep the spontaneity on. :)
Cheerz!
Love,
DN
So, whats love? God knows. As in, they say it is this. But is it this? I googled 'what is love?'. Is it what takes all your pain away? I dont think so. Love could be pain too. Sometimes, a pain in the bum.
Is it - like Mark Twain said- an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired? Well, not always. Like when you are on a down turn, you dont want to be desired. You just need a bit of a company.
I think love is knowing that that person would be with you and hold your hand when you need it most. Know your thoughts when you cant speak. Know your heartbeat, when you cry. And could be dumb enough to crack stupid jokes that makes you laugh at unexpected times. He could be the stupidest idiot at times just to see your smile.
I believe love is just an extension of friendship. I once had a bet with someone "A guy and a gal can never be friends for long. Either they part or fall in love." He said he can prove it is impossible. Well, he was proved wrong. And I know all would agree to this. Here, I am talking about uncommitted people. Either of them just fall in course of time. Dont test it, you risk your emotions.
Another angle I always wanted to know was is sex important? I know its a taboo topic in our land, but does sex matter a lot in love? It certainly seems important. But ours is a society that encourages control till marriage. [I am not talking about the metros.] While it seems an essential part of love, I donno if it is so important as to stop love if not existent. I mean, if you are really in love, cant you wait? And am sure it is not just sex. You need more to carry you forward.
This again brings us back to what is love. Well it, I think, is different in different people's mind. One might need to have constant communication. Another might think the feeling in the heart is all that matters. Even if you could not communicate for some time.
I dont think love should make you blind. I think it should make you see faults and yet accept that person as he or she is. And dont let it make you deaf either. There are some things that you should hear and some things you should pretend you didnt. Cos whatever be, the one you love is not god, he or she is a human and could make mistakes.
Forgiving is hard but it makes life easier. :)
Sometimes, I have wondered why this particular emotion is given too much importance. Probably cos, when you feel it, it is very intense.
Another question I have always asked, does love mean never fighting? Ooops! A big no. Fight is not about love, it is about difference of opinion. And it is I guess needed to see the personal differences in life. And it could make life an adventure for some time. :P
But as always, too much of a thing is not great. So, you keep fighting every once in a while, it becomes a pain in your unmentionable part soon. And you tend to avoid that person.
My mom always said, love is like two intersecting lines. The more time you take to get close and intersect, the more time you take to part as well. Yes, in a way we all make crisscross lines in life, meeting, intersecting, parting... Some stay parallels. Some meet and due to some anomaly or probably a miracle, carry forward as a single line..
Does love mean commitment? Probably not. I mean, you love someone does not mean you have to spend the whole life with that person. Or that you have to make a commitment to love. Sometimes, leaving that person alone is the best thing you could do to him or her. Then, in this case, leaving is loving. Well, for instance, staying with that person could bring more harm to him or her than anything else. Then, leaving is justified. It might take a lot longer time for the other person to see your side though.
Googling took me to a set of "Am I in love" quizzes. Now, can some random person sitting in Africa make a questionnaire to decide whether you are in love? [According to research methodology, yes. But am talking about normal human beings here.] Probably not. They may give you some pointers. But that is it.
So, what is my point? Simply, that it was a compilation of the pointers I got from life. May or may not help you..
Anyways, I am still in a quest to understand love. Hope that quest lasts a life. New angles every day, nothing like that to keep the spontaneity on. :)
Cheerz!
Love,
DN
4 comments:
Nice post dear.Really loved it.
But I beg to differ in two points
1>A boy and a Girl can remain friends forever without falling in that kind of love.But again it varies from person to person.
2>If you really love your partner,sex is nothing and everything.It can wait for whole life.But tell me something "do you really think that marriage is necessary?".Is not it an insult to love?Come on a piece of paper cannot decide our commitment.So when a marriage is worthless there is no point in waiting for it.But there is no point in doing sex only.IT sucks big time. My point is you should not force your feelings.
@ arp :
1> Well, I was talking about being close friends for a long time, and that too when you are not committed.
There would be some feelings soon. Anyways, it, as you said, might differ from person to person... It was only a general observation.
2> I think it is necessary. But that is my view. :) It is not an insult to love. It lets you know how far a person could go to have you. Especially if a world is against it. A commitment I feel is important. :)
And I agree to what you said, sex alone is not enough.
And that you should not force anything or anyone. :)
Thanks for liking.. :)
Love you. :)
Durga :)
Really nice post! I knew some of your views already,like in the case of friendship between girl and guy. But yeah, i do differ.
:) As I told you, life will prove..
Post a Comment