Yeah so today, a lady I work with, asked while we walked back home after work,"So, are they searching for you? What is your height?" The out of the blue question was a little unsettling. I was taken aback.
My spontaneous answer was of course the joke I am. Well, like dad said "After 23 years of Co-ed, I am ashamed that you are still single!" "Dont ask me to find a guy for you! Go find one yourself. If you are unsuccessful finding one by the time you are 27, I'll help. But I would rather you find him yourself. Please!"
Yeah, that is my dad. Bonkers in a lot of things. Anyway, by the time I am 27, I think I might have teeth in my nose and nobody will marry me anyway. For one, this height problem is a bit too intense for me. One, I am tall. Two, I dont get attracted to short[-er than me] guys. [No offence meant. Personal choice you know!] After this I just have 25% of the male population to work with. [Well, I even have a theory on it that pisses off most men I meet who are shorter.] Adding to that my educational requirements and family stuff, I dont get many men to even choose from. -I am very particular about education and family when it comes to 'noticing' a guy.- My emotions come wayyy later. So that leaves what? A mere 5-6% of male population? Wonder how many of that are Indians, let alone Mallus.
And then, I see every one of my peers getting married left right center one by one and my ego raises up a small hell in my head. I also get random committed fill in the blankses telling me about how it is not because am not good looking that am single but cos men are intelligent. -Thanks a lot for that ego boost!- Not that I really take it to heart but I could use some encouragement if am gonna find the guy myself!
Yesterday, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and he asked me what I thought kept a relationship going. I personally think it is commitment. I am sure you all have different answers to that. His was 'love'. Well, I am sure when my mom and dad married, they were two strangers who just decided to commit to each other. Or their families did, I should say. So, if their relationship lasted through those initial times when they were still getting to know each other, it was the commitment the families and individuals had given to each other. Not love. Obviously that came later into the picture. And I personally want my relationship to have commitment more than love. Love can come later. Commitment should be there from moment one.
Yesterday again another one asked me "Should nt you have a guy to look after you soon?" Well, looking after part, I will do that myself. I am woman who wants to be self reliant as much as and as long as possible.
I want someone I can be myself with. Someone who will know all of my imperfections and still wanna be with me all the same. As I said long back someone I wont get bored on a 3 day bus journey with. Someone I wanna spend my retired life with.
May be a lot of my concepts about life and love will come across to you as not normal or not girlish. But I am different. My choices are different. May be it is a bit too "impractical" to some too. This is me.
PS- Men out there with some kinda crush for me, lemme know. Men who already got a red signal, please dont try again. It was red for a reason. :)
PPS- Well this was written on account of a missed opportunity. The right thing at the right time.
PPPS- Wherever you are, I am gonna murder you the first thing cos you kept me waiting this long! :-|
Love,
DN :)
My spontaneous answer was of course the joke I am. Well, like dad said "After 23 years of Co-ed, I am ashamed that you are still single!" "Dont ask me to find a guy for you! Go find one yourself. If you are unsuccessful finding one by the time you are 27, I'll help. But I would rather you find him yourself. Please!"
Yeah, that is my dad. Bonkers in a lot of things. Anyway, by the time I am 27, I think I might have teeth in my nose and nobody will marry me anyway. For one, this height problem is a bit too intense for me. One, I am tall. Two, I dont get attracted to short[-er than me] guys. [No offence meant. Personal choice you know!] After this I just have 25% of the male population to work with. [Well, I even have a theory on it that pisses off most men I meet who are shorter.] Adding to that my educational requirements and family stuff, I dont get many men to even choose from. -I am very particular about education and family when it comes to 'noticing' a guy.- My emotions come wayyy later. So that leaves what? A mere 5-6% of male population? Wonder how many of that are Indians, let alone Mallus.
And then, I see every one of my peers getting married left right center one by one and my ego raises up a small hell in my head. I also get random committed fill in the blankses telling me about how it is not because am not good looking that am single but cos men are intelligent. -Thanks a lot for that ego boost!- Not that I really take it to heart but I could use some encouragement if am gonna find the guy myself!
Yesterday, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and he asked me what I thought kept a relationship going. I personally think it is commitment. I am sure you all have different answers to that. His was 'love'. Well, I am sure when my mom and dad married, they were two strangers who just decided to commit to each other. Or their families did, I should say. So, if their relationship lasted through those initial times when they were still getting to know each other, it was the commitment the families and individuals had given to each other. Not love. Obviously that came later into the picture. And I personally want my relationship to have commitment more than love. Love can come later. Commitment should be there from moment one.
Yesterday again another one asked me "Should nt you have a guy to look after you soon?" Well, looking after part, I will do that myself. I am woman who wants to be self reliant as much as and as long as possible.
I want someone I can be myself with. Someone who will know all of my imperfections and still wanna be with me all the same. As I said long back someone I wont get bored on a 3 day bus journey with. Someone I wanna spend my retired life with.
May be a lot of my concepts about life and love will come across to you as not normal or not girlish. But I am different. My choices are different. May be it is a bit too "impractical" to some too. This is me.
PS- Men out there with some kinda crush for me, lemme know. Men who already got a red signal, please dont try again. It was red for a reason. :)
PPS- Well this was written on account of a missed opportunity. The right thing at the right time.
PPPS- Wherever you are, I am gonna murder you the first thing cos you kept me waiting this long! :-|
Love,
DN :)
9 comments:
im wondering..how come i am d first one to comment on this nice post..yeah it was really nice.
1.my first thought..wish my dad had said that..but then thought again..even then i would not be able to get a nice guy by myself.
2.Height Issue: i too have.
Edu req & Fam Stuff : Ditto
3.I too agree that it is commitment that matters..bcoz ditto reason given by u.
4.And that 2nd para frm last....the words just resemble my req's or opinions.
5. I agree dat these things don't sound girlish..but they are very normal..bcoz it is just d maturity of one's mind that makes them talk this way.By the way..u may be diff frm the lot..but u r not impractical...i think u r vey much practical..
6. I very much liked PPS & PPPS and so im gonna use them..sorry for dat...i am also thinking of pasting ur link in my blog..but not yet sure abt it...hope u r fine wit dat..
By the way...thanks for such a nice post..
Hey Bhanu!
You are the first to comment cos men who know me are cautious in responding to stuff like this from me. :D I kinda resemble Durga at times. :P
1. It is VERY difficult to find one myself. I am trying to convince my parents to help. For those people who think its a blessing to have permission like this, it is curse in disguise.
2, 3, 4. :)
5. With great power comes great responsibility. :) And its not some punch dialogue. I say it cos I know how much responsibility comes with that permission.
6. Please feel free to use the link and PSs..
I still dont know who you are.. Would very much like to visit your blog..
DN
taller than you, better education than you, good family, some one who wont bore you for 3 days even in a bus trip(how about he getting bored?), know all your imperfections and still wanna be with you all the time.
i would love to see your kids.
Him getting bored* not "he".
Apart from that, I dont want him to be with me all the time, but all the same. There is a difference. He can take breaks :D
About him getting bored, that is a possibility I am aware of. :) But I have taken so many chances with life, I am willing to take this chance with the right guy. :)
Coming to seeing our kids, first stop being anon. :)
Will definitely introduce my kids then. :)
Cheerz!
DN
'someone I wont get bored on a 3 day bus journey with' - is a good yardstick to measure.... thanks for the idea :)
Nice Blog..!
I dont have a big deal of crush though.But still I find your writings quite intriguing. :)..
Thanks a lot Karthick. :)
Hope you have a wonderful time reading. :)
Cheerz!
I was reading ur take on a prev anon comment, which can vaporize even the slightest hint of a crush instantly .(sulphuric acid with water) :P
Hehe.. You know, if an anon has some crush on me, it would not make any difference. :)
Forgot to mention "spine" in my requirements. :P
And at least I added water this time. :P
I am not usually that harsh.. *all sweet n cute n blah blah* hehe.. :) So crushes could try to be a bit alkaline.. If you know what I mean :D :P
DN
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