Jul 15, 2008

Personality Disorder Test - Personality Test

my results.. on a personality disorder test.. :)
guess i was mad from the beginning.. :D

Disorder Rating Information
Paranoid: Low click for info
Schizoid: Low click for info
Schizotypal: High click for info
Antisocial: Moderate click for info
Borderline: Very High click for info
Histrionic: High click for info
Narcissistic: High click for info
Avoidant: Low click for info
Dependent: High click for info
Obsessive-Compulsive: High click for info

Jul 13, 2008

Death of an Ideal..

When I cried,
he told me not to.
When I laughed,
he smiled at my happiness.
When I was in one of my tempers,
he made me smile.

But suddenly one day,
Its all gone.
My life is all dark.
I have no smiles.
No more happiness.
He died.

Now I dont have ideals.
I sleep with men.
Even old fellows.
My smile is a mock.
My happiness, a mirage.
I died.

Jul 12, 2008

To Where?

Listening to my inner voice,
I hear a cry.
The cry of the child in me.
"When is the promise of love
gonna be fulfilled?"
"When are those hearts gonna be blasted off,
that hurt me?"
"When would those liars be punished
that cheated me?"

Unanswered prayers..
Unanswered cries.
Twitching eyes..Alternating.
God knows where I am heading!
Only God knows, where I am heading.!

Jul 5, 2008

The Cyber Space Fight between my Sweethearts...

When I say cyber fight, you might think it is between me and someone I met online.
Nah my dear! It is between two sweethearts I know very well..
One of them was with me from the time I started browsing years ago.. The second came into my life pretty recently.. CoZ of Google. And I trust Google.

Mozilla came to my life after Explorer did. Explorer came with my comp. And I had enough of bugs from the Windows people coz it was not "genuine".. Ah, btw, I found the crack, and now it is genuine.. [;)] [:D]
They kept sending me "notifications" and disturbing me while I was browsing. It was so stupid. I would lose data and time while dealing with this Explorer fella.. and then comes "My Savior" Google with Google pack. [:D]
Though I would had to forgo a lot of downloads coz I had to use my download space to download this, I knew this was a 'one time investment'. which would be giving me returns, forever..
Well, in the beginning Explorer didn't mind.
But later on, Explorer started trying to disrupt my FireFox surfs. It sends me stupid bugs and closed down the application every once in a while.
Suddenly out of the blue, there comes this "error reporting" and "closing down". and TADA! FireFox shuts down!. The joke is, the error reporting is done by the Explorer fellow.
May be it is collecting moooore collecting data to send moooore bugs. And irritate me. [:X]
If the Explorer fella keeps this going, I am gonna uninstall the program.. ASAT! [smug!]
But guess what! My sweet FireFox fella keeps restoring the old session everytime it restarts.. [:D]
And then Explorer goes and sits right back in the small icon at a corner of my desktop, all defeated.

If you ask me, I love firefox better. And I know the FireFox fella is gonna do great jobs in future..
Explorer dear, You have to be better than that, than being a SORE LOSER and trying to sabotage my surfs. [:P]!! [:|]

Jul 1, 2008

The roads.. not yet taken.. but not yet decided on too...

This is a day when i no longer seem to be able to believe in myself..
somehow i doubt my decision.
the problem with me being that i have tooo many options and do not know which would be better.
starting from sitting the CAT this November,[now that have sub options. like,
1. sitting at home and preparing.
2.getting coaching somewhere and sitting it,
3.like side-along apparition, side along courses. [now this is the option i have sweetly chosen. for the time being.]

now, about the courses,
i am doing a certificate course. in my favorite field advertising..
i mean, i have applied and got admitted for that.

but here, the option sub diversify.
1. i could stay at the hostel there and do the course. [here, there are some very obvious problems[read indecisive situation] that i face.
i.i hate that city.
ii. i don't like its culture.
iii. i like it better at home.
iv. and dad wants me to stay at home.]

2. i cud operate from my home town and do it.[problems being,
i. it takes 4 hrs a day to travel alone.
ii. if i do that, my health would be out of service soon.
iii.i may not be able to do a part time job along with it.]

and what the hell, this keeps on sub diversifying and diversifying.. making me all clueless and confused.
well, it is partly my fault cos i consider all sort of damn options before i choose something.
but this for one, happened so fast, something like in a day or two, that i cud not make all my worries take place before i made any bloody decision.
but whatever, i believe in myself. just that right now, i am not over the shock of all these things in
slowly, i will get over them. i have made a lot of very doubtful decisions in the past but have been all for the best till now.. so, this would also be something like that i guess.

life has always been beautiful, and i am enjoying it!

PS-this entry is not from my yahoo blog. i just typed this down. :D