As soon as I reach home for vacations, mom starts off with her "Change-jo-back-to-the-traditional-child-that-left-thrissur" plan. It all starts with her scrutiny as soon as she sees me.
"You! Your hair is shorter. Did you cut it again?"
"Your top, I dont like it. You better not wear it in front of me."
She had made me delete all my Farewell pics because she thought the dress was shorter than what she would allow me to wear.
"You spent 2k on that?? Remove it, burn it and only then come home."
"Yes mom!"
Yeah I knew it was a bad decision when I let dad be my friend on FB. But wth, my cousins were on his friend's list and I was not. I was jealous. :P
"Your hair is more coir than hair."
"Come here! Lemme oil it." And then a bucket of coconut oil she has prepared with all 30 herbs she has gotten hold of, is poured on to my hair.
And a good massage ensues.
"You are not getting out of my house like that. You wear a churidar and go!"
"Yes mom!"
"You! How come this skirt I got for you is this short?!"
"Mom this is a skirt I have been wearing from 5th standard. The skirt has not grown with me."
"Still..."
"You get a lot of smses!"
"Yeah. Call rates on roaming are very high."
"Guys?"
"Some"
Curious look. Knowing what it means,
"Mom! Seriously, if I found someone you would know. And you know how difficult it is for me to like someone..."
"Yeah..." Trails off happily.
"Why do you have to wear heels? You are tall"
"Mom, Its just 2 inches!"
"Still..."
"You have gained weight."
"It is ok mom.."
"It is not. All that junk food.."
"Mom!"
"I dont approve of your eating habits."
"..."
"You were a veggie. Remember?"
"..."
"Now you eat KFC, EFC and all other FCs.."
"..."
"It is all hormones. Dont eat it!"
"It is tasty mom!"
"A lot of things are tasty."
"..."
"You will gain more if you keep eating like this. Reduce!"
"Mom, I look fine!"
"But you wont, if you keep eating like this!"
And it goes on..
After mom's week long struggle, I look like a proper mallu girl, all adorned with "Ocimum Sanctum" on my hair and "lass-iness" in my looks.
Dad approves with a nod.
"Presentable!"
And then time comes to leave..
"Damn I gotta leave these people.." All I can think. I will miss these bugging " You this, you thats.."
I know two weeks into Chennai I will be back to that alien that visited my family at the start of the week. But still.. That probably is only a reason I make up so that I get all this "You this, you that" pampering the next time I come..
And that approval nod from dad...
Tomorrow I am going back to Chennai, the hot oven. No one to pamper. No one to come back home to. Will miss them badly. D@mn!
