Is it ok? Is it clear? :?

Today, I had been to the BSNL customer care center for some miscellaneous work there. I was not surprised to see only people older than 45 working there. But the surprise came, when I saw two people, a man and a lady with atmost attention and their reading glasses on, trying to decide if they should click on 'clear' or 'ok' to confirm the entry. :)
Trust me, they took 2 whole minutes to decide. :)

Beauty of love is the longing to be together. :)

There is nothing called wrong.
It is all about perspectives.

Into Oblivion.

Feeling the impurity in me,
I rubbed myself again.
The more rubbing,
the dirtier I felt.
The safer way was oblivion.
I knew.
But that had to be the last resort.
I knew.

A shiver ran through me.
I was a coward.
I was nt pure.
I rubbed again.
And blood oozed.
Rubbed sharper.
Blades shone.

Dribbling, I lost myself.
Into Oblivion.

Handicap

With a vacant expression,

I sat staring.

Handicapped by my own memories.

Resultant chaos had subsided.

But my heart knew the pain still.

The body ached. Still.

With lessons from past,

I tried building my future.

An' vain, the effort went.

Shutting life from outside,

my eyes searched for the soul;

The soul, I waited a lifetime.

There, at the far bend of the lane,

it was moving,

further and further from me.

I let it go.

It never wanted to be with me.

I sat staring again,

with a vacant expression.

Knowing the soul had gone,

that the pain will live,

and I am all alone.

While I worked with the disabled, I found the ability of disability and the disability of ability.
It is too much to ignore.

I take this oppurtunity to declare my retirement from active adventure sports. Too much of anything destroys the fun. And it is becoming monotonous now.
Well, whatever, I feel it is time for me.. :)

Could the notion be any wronger? :?

While I was returning home after work yesterday, a gal caught up with me and tried making acquaintance. Though I do not encourage strangers, I let her talk for some 'unfortunate' reason. During the conversation, she casually asked me what I was doing there, in the office.. I told her that I am a copy writer. The next thing she asked "Oh. DTP aanalle.!" [Oh, you are with some DTP work!]
I felt like banging my head somewhere hard and suiciding right then. :( Imagine, she was someone who worked in the next tower, in the sales of auto parts. :-|

Let's say, she has not been educated like hell and that her background is not too illuminating. But even people who are educated, when I tell them I work in an ad agency, sometimes ask me "Oh, agency-il analle. Company-il onnum kittilye?" [Oh, you are in an agency. Couldn't you find work in a company?]

I shared it with one of my friends in ad field. And his reply was a bit surprising.

In his words,
"I am not surprised. The awareness levels about advertising is very minimal/ non-existent in Kerala.

Years ago, my mallu colleague (who is a visualiser) in Bangalore had a bad experience when he went to Kerala for Onam.

His Neighbour: Bangalore-il entha joli? [What are you doing in Bangalore?]

My friend: Njan oru ad agencyil visualiser aanu. [I am a Visualizer in an ad agency.]

Neighbour: Visualiser-o? ennu vechaal? [Visualizer? what is that?]

Friend: ennu paranjaal artist. [Means, artist.]

Neighbour: Oh.... chuvarezhuthaanalle? Pinne boardinte mukalil keri paint adikkunnathinu nalla kaashayirikkum alle? Sookshikkane, ningalokke athrayum pokkathil keri nilkkunnathu kaanumbol pedi thonnum.. [Oh, wall painting! you must be getting lot of money for painting boards! right? Be carefu, when I see people standing up there and painting, I get really afraid.]

My friend (aatmagatham): poda #@%&!^ makane!! [I cant translate this for you. :P It is just "#$&*%^*%"!! :D ]
------------------------------

And, here's my harrowing experience, years back, when I had just joined ad field in Cochin:

My aunt: Mone, ninakku joli kittiyalle? Nannayi, pakshe govt jolikku PSC test ezhuthane? Enthu joliya ninte? [ Son, didnt you get a job? Great. But try for some PSC or govt jobs as well.. What is your work?]

Me: Njan oru ad agencyil copywriter aanu ammayi..! [I work in an ad agency as a copywriter aunty!]

Aunt: ngheh? enthunnu? [What?]

Me: oru parasya companyil aanu njaan. Njan parasyangalku vendi ezhuthum.[In an ad agency.I write for advertisements.]

Aunt: atheyo!!, nannayi!! onnu parichayamayi kazhinjal aadhaarmezhuthinu pokan pattum. Njan Rajuvinodu (her son who is a Sunday lawyer in Cherthala) paranju ninakku avante koode joli seriyakkan parayaam. [Oh! really?! When you get familiar, you can start off with writing documents. I will tell Raju [who is a Sunday lawyer in Cherthala] and ask him to take you with him..]

Me (turning blood red with anger): athu venda ammayi. raju chettanu thanne case onnum illathe irikkuvalle? enikku sambalam polum kittilla. cherthalakku chettante vandi kooliyum njan edukkandi varum. Njan ernakulathu sthiram case-ulla oru vakkeelinodu samsarichittundu. nokkaamenna paranje. [ No need aunty. Raju himself does not have enough cases to his credit. I would not even be getting a salary. I will even have to bear the expenses of his commuting. I have talked to a busy lawyer in ernamkulam. He has told me he will consider it.]

:D :D Wish I had replied something like this to that female. I saw her today as well, while I was returning. But I gave her a wider berth this time. :)

Today's fortune: A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something.

Today's fortune: A good speaker is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he [makes others believe] he knows something. :D

Insane Words..

You can never blind me with those.
The kith and kin, went on and in.
Shouting wont cure me now.
it is better you realize it somehow.

Barging thru my ears,
yours words had gone.
Piercing my heart,
where it is the most prone.

Now, there are voices in my head.
Echoing you.
And your words that hurt.
Shutting life out,
words, images and voices.

Yes, I am mad.
At least, I know I am mad.

Not myself, without you

Not myself, without you,
Essence of my life..
Carving your niche,
closer to my heart,
on every tick of the clock.

Never has been the grass,
adorable without the dew.
May be, the dew dries.
Or the grass dies.
But they together,
is Mother Nature's wonder.

Has the grass ever said no to the dew?
Even when it knows, its death is due?
Has the dew ever stopped appearing?
Even when it knows, the grass will dry out soon?

The intense scorching heat of Sun,
killing the innocent blade of grass.
And drying the dew drop, dead with deft.

The niche you carved, my dew,
is vaccant and waiting to be filled.
The grass will die out soon.
Be sure to say hi before noon..
Yeah, be sure to say,
A hi before noon..

[Incidently, the sequel to this, came before it. I had put in the sequel before the poem itself.]

Yes, the times have changed...

There was a time when I thought that those who ate non veg food are all Hindus. :) [I didnt even know that there was a religion called Islam then. :) It was when I was a kid. :)]
--
There was a time when I thought that kerala had a flag. I asked mom what the color of the flag of Kerala was. [And she, being naughty, told me that in Indian flag, it is orange on top. In Kerala' flag, it is red. :- I believed her for quite some time!!]
--
There was a time when I thought advertisements happen in TV and they keep doing it all the same way, again and again. Always believed that they are paid cos they do it the same way every time. [ Though this never applied to films. :) Films were run by video cassettes alright. :)]
--
There was a time when I thought the one who controls the handle of the bike controls the bike. [I used to act too haughty when with my dad on the bike, thinking all would believe I was the one who was riding it. :D]
--
There was a time when I thought computer was the toughest thing to master. [Not that I have mastered everything now. But it is quite a familiar territory now. :) ]
--
There was a time when I didnt know riding a cycle needs balance. [And learnt cycling in a jiffy. Everyone was surprised though. It is a bit unbelievable. But it is the truth. Never fell once from it in the learning period :) After that of course yeah. :P]
--
There was a time when I thought I would not able to sleep alone. [I am exactly the opposite now, I value my privacy. :)]
--
There was a time when I feared ghosts. [Once in a while, I still wonder if I could meet up some supernatural stuff. ]
--
There was a time when I didnt know how to sign in to Yahoo. [There was in fact a time, when I and my friend went to a cafe to make an id for me and we ended up remembering the 'captcha' in the sign in form rather than my password. :D And entered the whole mail address instead of the id, while signing in. Needless to say, I never made it with that account. :D]
--
There was a time when I used to write with pencils. [I still remember the first time I was let to write with an ink pen. That day, my uniform was covered in ink and mom scolded me like hell. :) I still made ink patches on my uniform for almost an year before finally I managed to get hold of a ball point pen. :D]
--
There was a time when I was sad that I was only taller than a single gal in my class. [I had to stand in the front every time. how I hated it! That was when I was in class one.]
--
There was a time when I was[IS. :D] possessive about my dad and mom.
--
There was a time when I cut clothes just to know if the scissors could cut. [Was too inquisitive for my own good.. Dad still speaks about my adventures with nostalgia. :)]
--
There was a time when I cried because I was not recognized for what I did.
--
There was a time when I changed channels when it showed intimate moments. [ Now I do not. :D ]
--
There was a time when I feared my uncle. [Now he is wary about my straight forward statements.]
--
There was a time when I was scolded for my bad handwriting. It has not changed much. Though, now I type.
--
There was a time when I enjoyed seeing a dragonfly tied to a thread in my hands. [Now, I can not stand seeing anything or anyone being hurt now..]
--
There was a time when I thought I would become a teacher.
--
There was a time when I thought I would become an astronaut. [God knows what I am upto now. :D]
--
There was a time when I didnt know the multiplication table. [I am too lazy even now and depend on short cuts to find them. :P]
--
There was a time when my parents doubted if I would live. [Mom and dad still get tears in their eyes when they speak about those days. :)]
--
There was a time when I mistook one bus stand with another. [I still have this direction sensing problems. God knows what the man, who will end up with me, would do with me. :D]
--
There was a time when I lied about having fallen down and bruised my leg. [I donno. Once I really did fall down when someone pushed me. But that day I was scolded for lying by dad. :( Dad would not just believe me. ]
--
There was a time when I didnt know to whistle. [After I learnt how to, I make use of it whenever I can. :D ]
--
There was a time when I didnt find cat-calling cool. [I now, sometimes do it myself and I am cool. Hence proved. => Catcalling is cool. :D]
--
There was a time when I valued twenty paises and saved them. [Now those coins are ignored and lost in oblivion..]
--
There was a time when I payed 15 rupees as fees for a month at school.
--
There was a time when I wanted to be a nun. :D [Seriously!]
--
There was a time when I wanted a cassette player. [I own an iPod now. :)]
--
There was a time when I was scolded daily for having climbed the guava tree. [Every single day my dad would find me atop the tree when he comes home. :)]
--
There was a time when I thought a computer is Bill Gates' property. [ How stupid was I!]
--
There was a time when I was scolded for making a torch from the parts of a clock and a broom. [Was for my science project at school. Well, later when she and I started corresponding through mails, I told her I had felt bad about it. She mentioned it was only cos it had to look 'technical' when the examiners came. :) ]
--
There was a time when I thought western guys looked handsome. [YUCK!!!]
--
There was a time when I wanted to be a Japanese. [I would not mind dating a Japanese guy now. :P ]
--
There was a time when I thought Americans ruled the world. [Water bubbles are bound to burst. :) ]
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There was a time when I wondered why we didnt have wings. [I still do. ]
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There was a time wen I thought anything later than 5pm is late. [ I do not know whether I was wrong or right. :)]
--
There was a time when I thought you needed to remain unmarried to take a bachelor's degree. [Again my mom's work. :-| ]
--
There was a time when I used to practice lighting matches the whole day. [My sis does it now. :D]
--

Times have changed...

There was a time when I believed in true love.
There was a time when I loved the thought of being in love.
There was a time when...
Well, times have not changed much.... I am feeling really nostalgic right now. :)

One of these days, I will do things right. :)