May 25, 2012

When you find out that you are a misfit where you are, you know you have to move on soon. Or the system will standardize you.

May 3, 2012

Better Late.

Yeah so today, a lady I work with, asked while we walked back home after work,"So, are they searching for you? What is your height?" The out of the blue question was a little unsettling. I was taken aback.
My spontaneous answer was of course the joke I am. Well, like dad said "After 23 years of Co-ed, I am ashamed that you are still single!" "Dont ask me to find a guy for you! Go find one yourself. If you are unsuccessful finding one by the time you are 27, I'll help. But I would rather you find him yourself. Please!"

Yeah, that is my dad. Bonkers in a lot of things. Anyway, by the time I am 27, I think I might have teeth in my nose and nobody will marry me anyway. For one, this height problem is a bit too intense for me. One, I am tall. Two, I dont get attracted to short[-er than me] guys. [No offence meant. Personal choice you know!] After this I just have 25% of the male population to work with. [Well, I even have a theory on it that pisses off most men I meet who are shorter.] Adding to that my educational requirements and family stuff, I dont get many men to even choose from. -I am very particular about education and family when it comes to 'noticing' a guy.- My emotions come wayyy later. So that leaves what? A mere 5-6% of male population? Wonder how many of that are Indians, let alone Mallus.

And then, I see every one of my peers getting married left right center one by one and my ego raises up a small hell in my head. I also get random committed fill in the blankses telling me about how it is not because am not good looking that am single but cos men are  intelligent. -Thanks a lot for that ego boost!- Not that I really take it to heart but I could use some encouragement if am gonna find the guy myself!

Yesterday, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and he asked me what I thought kept a relationship going. I personally think it is commitment. I am sure you all have different answers to that. His was 'love'. Well, I am sure when my mom and dad married, they were two strangers who just decided to commit to each other. Or their families did, I should say. So, if their relationship lasted through those initial times when they were still getting to know each other, it was the commitment the families and individuals had given to each other. Not love. Obviously that came later into the picture. And I personally want my relationship to have commitment more than love. Love can come later. Commitment should be there from moment one.

Yesterday again another one asked me "Should nt you have a guy to look after you soon?" Well, looking after part, I will do that myself. I am woman who wants to be self reliant as much as and as long as possible.
I want someone I can be myself with. Someone who will know all of my imperfections and still wanna be with me all the same. As I said long back someone I wont get bored on a 3 day bus journey with. Someone I wanna spend my retired life with.

May be a lot of my concepts about life and love will come across to you as not normal or not girlish. But I am different. My choices are different. May be it is a bit too "impractical" to some too. This is me.

PS- Men out there with some kinda crush for me, lemme know. Men who already got a red signal, please dont try again. It was red for a reason. :)
PPS- Well this was written on account of a missed opportunity. The right thing at the right time.
PPPS- Wherever you are, I am gonna murder you the first thing cos you kept me waiting this long! :-|

DN :)

May 2, 2012

One day, my random thoughts will die. And I will die with them.
They are me. I am them.