Durga's Random Thoughts.

I felt I was losing my mind. Thought it was just the usual. But this was different. Somehow I was crazier than before. I asked someone. He said I was just going through some teenage stuff. Someone called me crazy. Someone mentioned, I needed a psychatrist. Then someone said that it was love. And I was stuck. I didnt know how to handle it. I knew how to handle craziness. But not this. This was a different kind. It was madness. Of a different kind. You sing. Even wen your voice is horrible. You dance. Even if you dont know the steps. You dream. Even during the day. You are out of your mind. But you enjoy it. Every minute of it. And want to be more crazy. It has no cure. And I enjoy every moment of it. :) This is the sweetest madness I have ever countered. And I wish they find no cure for it.. ;)

the rest have some pics in it. and i am too lazy to find a way now.. [:P]

It has been long since I blogged. not exactly deliberate.. but u know, it just happened that I did not blog. Life is moving on.. not the best. not the worst. but had been better. had been worse. khair! aise nahi hotha tho life ko life kyu bulaye? So.... Life goes on.. and I guess I love it the way it is.. [not quite sure.. ] This time I wud like to tell u abt my college and my relationship with it.... Wen,I was abt to leave my college for a btr oppurtunity,the class mates there,they had been by then attatched to me... [tho it was only 3 weeks I had spent with them.] and a bunch of them asked me not to leave.. The teachers congratulated me,for the achievement. But asked me if I cud continue.. I really liked wat I was doing then [still do..] . But didnt want to lose an oppurtunity like that. So, I said, I will be going.. And they didnt press me again... Then,my friends there,they asked me wen I will be leaving. I told them the date and was like a bit sad leaving such wo...

This is an advice I found useful.. though some parts of it were not exactly acceptable to my moral side..[ I 'censored' them.. :) ] still thought I wud share it with you.. ".....Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind ! you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine. [ me n fat?? huh!! (but 20 yrs from now? god knows!! ) ] Don’t worry about the future; or worryabout anything at all... but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. [my papa calls me an idiot cos the only thing i worry about is how to keep myself worry-...

It has been long since I blogged.. not that it had a "wide " readership...[well, it is in the private setting for the time being...] but well, u ppl shud have noticed.. I had an accident and was bedridden and then had some other stuff to attend to and was unable to blog.. Even now,a very troubled time is passing.. my comp crashed somewhere like 3-4 times..my mobile tried "suiciding"...i had to take it to the service center.and that guy has not yet got back to me.[tho it has been a week and i have been tying to get to him and he said he would get to me after he analyses my mob..] he would do it only until i lose my patience.the net connection also had a lot of problems in the mean time.. and then comes my "favorite" problem!! my pg application. it is a mess. I lost 450 indian money in the process...and on the verge of losing another 900 indian monies...and still not sure whether i got that thing reach the centre in time...and then comes a fight with my si...

Donno wat makes me blog rit now..i usually blog in notepad and then wen i get online,i just copy and paste it. today i just felt like blogging straight away.. may be cos i am "jobless" for the time being or may be cos i wanted to try this type of blogging out.. As the night is passing by, i feel a sense of idleness.. as the night life gets active,[including me] the diurnal life is getting to sleep..one or two mosquitoes are keeping me company now.- they dont really know that biting me is pretty dangerous.- and one or two cars are wooshing past now and then, in the highway.. i can see them thru the office room's window.. and somewhere some leak is letting water drip in a constant tone.. like a background for the muZic of my typing..a very old mob is lying on my computer table looking like it mit cough up its internal parts anytime.. I am chatting at the other window with a frnd,whose dial up connection is irritating both of us by disconnecting itself freque...

Ingane oru priyappetta prabhathathil njan ninne aadhyamaayi adutharinju..mazha nananju, oru cheru punjiriyumaayi paavam njan akhsharalokathekku aadhyamaayi.. aadhyamellam enikkishtam aayirunnu.. matullavare pole njan karanjilla.. karanam enikku kootu ente priyappetta suhruthaayi, nee undaayirunnu...karayunna kuttikalil ninnu rakhshapedan njan, classmuriyude janalil irkkumaayirunnu.. ninne ormippikkunna aarthirambunna mazha nokkikondu.. eppozhokkeyo njan aa mazha nanayan kothichittundu..mazha kazhinju varunna prabhathangalil, ketti ninna chalivellathil kalikkan njan agrahichirunnu...ennalum, enthukondo... njan kalichilla. pinneedeppzhokkeyo... njan valarnnu.. priyappetta suhruthe, njan ninne marannu.. mazhaye njan pedichu.. karanam athu enikk asugam varuthumennu achan paranju.. janal padikal vrithikedayirikkumennu vishwasichu.. karanam... karanam ellavarum angane vishwasichu... innippol, veendum nee vannirikkunnu.. ente priyappetta mazhayumaayi.. priyappetta june,njan ninne pranayikkunn...

Well, random must mean Real Random rit? So, I can blabber on anything.. Not that I dont always do that. I do I keep on doing that! some ppl find it interesting others find me a bit more than extrovertish. wind can calm me. but then I am not always calm. I mean, I get angry often.. ppl run away from it. today someone said he is ok with me gettin angry. but wud prefer I wont keep mum. I always get so upset about tiny things. especially wen I know I have messed it up. and there is no way out. things in the past have no way out. and I mostly fret about the past. like some thing's result will be out in 4 days. something that will decide my destiny. or the void of my destiny whichever applicable. well, again, I know I have messed it up. well, I guess the only thing that can be done is wait. tho I am really tensed. wateva!! well, there are always other options. the only problem being that I have not thot abt them till now seriously. anyways, me got to go. will bring on in new blabber, ni...

The song of a Phoenix, is ringing in my heart. Heavenly, yet sad. Not a screech,not a scratch. But a melody, beautiful and sad. Loses, pain, failure, and loses again. . Shattered dreams, lost relations, Ah! The Phoenix knows. And only it does. But the song, gives me hope. The hope- that heavens might open one day, and take me in. Or leave me alone! The Moonlight mourns. Of not death or of dearth. But reasons unknown; or may be known. But nonetheless, does mourn. And a song of Phoenix, keeps ringing in my heart.

Why is default not the opposite of fault or correcting faults? Why has IITs not produced any miraculous inventer in engineering field? Wat was God thinking wen he created stupids? Why do Americans think they rule the world? Worse,why do the rest of the world think they do it? Still worse,why do we [Indians ]think we must act like those bl$%^&; Americans rule it? Every tragedy in ur life,has one common factor in it,u.Why? Wat happens after death? where do we go? Why do men think it is difficult to understand women? Why r lawyers always considered liars? Why do ppl come to ur life wen they have to go anyways? Well,a lot more are still with me...may be I will update later... :) not now,I feel lazy now. A qn b4 I leave,why am I so lazy??;)