Durga's Random Thoughts.

my results.. on a personality disorder test.. :) guess i was mad from the beginning.. :D Disorder Rating Information Paranoid: Low click for info Schizoid: Low click for info Schizotypal: High click for info Antisocial: Moderate click for info Borderline: Very High click for info Histrionic: High click for info Narcissistic: High click for info Avoidant: Low click for info Dependent: High click for info Obsessive-Compulsive: High click for info

When I cried, he told me not to. When I laughed, he smiled at my happiness. When I was in one of my tempers, he made me smile. But suddenly one day, Its all gone. My life is all dark. I have no smiles. No more happiness. He died. Now I dont have ideals. I sleep with men. Even old fellows. My smile is a mock. My happiness, a mirage. I died.

Listening to my inner voice, I hear a cry. The cry of the child in me. "When is the promise of love gonna be fulfilled?" "When are those hearts gonna be blasted off, that hurt me?" "When would those liars be punished that cheated me?" Unanswered prayers.. Unanswered cries. Twitching eyes..Alternating. God knows where I am heading! Only God knows, where I am heading.!

When I say cyber fight, you might think it is between me and someone I met online. Nah my dear! It is between two sweethearts I know very well.. One of them was with me from the time I started browsing years ago.. The second came into my life pretty recently.. CoZ of Google. And I trust Google. Mozilla came to my life after Explorer did. Explorer came with my comp. And I had enough of bugs from the Windows people coz it was not "genuine".. Ah, btw, I found the crack, and now it is genuine.. [;)] [:D] They kept sending me "notifications" and disturbing me while I was browsing. It was so stupid. I would lose data and time while dealing with this Explorer fella.. and then comes "My Savior" Google with Google pack. [:D] Though I would had to forgo a lot of downloads coz I had to use my download space to download this, I knew this was a 'one time investment'. which would be giving me returns, forever.. Well, in the beginning Explorer didn't mind. B...

This is a day when i no longer seem to be able to believe in myself.. somehow i doubt my decision. the problem with me being that i have tooo many options and do not know which would be better. starting from sitting the CAT this November,[now that have sub options. like, 1. sitting at home and preparing. 2.getting coaching somewhere and sitting it, 3.like side-along apparition, side along courses. [now this is the option i have sweetly chosen. for the time being.] now, about the courses, i am doing a certificate course. in my favorite field advertising.. i mean, i have applied and got admitted for that. but here, the option sub diversify. 1. i could stay at the hostel there and do the course. [here, there are some very obvious problems[read indecisive situation] that i face. i.i hate that city. ii. i don't like its culture. iii. i like it better at home. iv. and dad wants me to stay at home.] 2. i cud operate from my home town and do it.[problems being, i. it takes 4 hrs a day to t...