Durga's Random Thoughts.

disclaimer . - this is an actual dialogue between a random orkutter and me. i am nt political. nor do i have any interest in manmohan or adwani's politics. but i felt somethings [all? ;)] he said, needed a correction. all copy pasted from orkut. he had been monologuing for sometime before i started speaking.. didnt feel the need to copy paste that. and in view of the mumbai attacks, i donno how sad i am. so yep, here goes the 'chat'. him : I feels it z too late...Now political parties are make it as wepon for election.They not all caring innocent humens as well as dedicate soldiers.Now media and people are disussing the ways to eleminate terrorism..But tomorow abhayacase or yet another santhosh madhavan/sabarinath will divert their thinikng..As usual media and people enjoye those news forgotting what happened nw in mumbai me : i beg to differ. i dont link abhaya or santhosh madhavan to terrorism. terrorism for ur kind info, is a global threat to a single nation's inte...

After all those things I had done for her, my heart ached now, when I saw her go. That little child all healthy and bright, is a lady lass now, her bosom so tight. The days she cried or the pranks she played, made me proud of being a father to her. I saw her grow, I saw her learn. And I pride myself, now that, I see her go. The beauty in the veil, hand in hand with her man, Oh! I can't hold back them, my happy tears. And I have done, what I can. After all those things, I had done for her, my heart now aches, When I see her go. Yes! My child! Off you go! Make another man's world, A happier lore. PS- Dedicated to the best dad in the world , MINE !!! Love you dad! :)

Once more you could have smiled at me. Once more a tight hug. Once more that little game of smileys in line. Once more a smile from your heart. Once more a soothing one. Once more a kind word to take my tears away. Nothing can change, nothing will change. But I will miss you, and have always been true.

I see my love, striding past. Swaying hips and a melting smile. Hands clenched on the silverware. That I had dreamed of a thousand times. Eyes benign, looks so kind, made her face, look so bright. I closed my eyes fighting through, the series of images, that had put me in cages. Does she know? Or does she not? That she is mine? Her soul just Mine !

My heart still yearns for you, even when I am with him. The smile that could create a flutter in anyone's heart. Life was not easy. Had to marry someone, I never loved, admired. Right from day one, he knew about you. He said "I understand. But now, we are together. Hope u dont mind." When, he kissed, I knew, It never had the passion your kisses had. Or, I never felt it, even if it had. He asked me out. I said yes. That was just it. Nothing more, nothing less. He was my business partner. We married.We had to. We were never together. I never let him be. Hope I had. Still, he cared. For all I had done to him. My heart fluttered, when he said a goodbye. Thought I won't miss him. But, I did. I just called him up. To say that I love him. He is returning. By the next flight. I am waiting for my love, Hoping he reached sooner. His smile, why didn't I notice it before?! How could it make my heart flutter? "Shall I kiss you?" I replied with a kiss. He hugged me. H...

The other day, to be precise, on 16 th November, I had gone to Calicut. More like a tour than a lovely little exam… I was so lavishly carefree that I wondered if there was any sense in this journey, than to waste some money. And so, the early morning journey, with nothing but a small matching handbag and a smile, took me to Calicut. The exam was in our Kendriya Vidyalaya, a different one though. I saw people from different states and cultures together… Most of them immersed in discussions about the exam, pattern and strategy. I was wondering if I fit into this scene. With my friends near me and us talking about the money we lost in applying and traveling… and then a car came and stopped in front of us. I saw a gal was immersed in a book, inside it. The figures I saw didn’t make any sense to me. Of course, I knew I was a goner. Not that I had any ‘hope’ before. :D I went. I wrote. I forgot. This would be how I would describe my exam. And then after the exam, we walked back to t...

A lover's sigh; The weight of wants. Hurting heart, thudding fast. Lifeless life. Heartless love. All she has, has a mourning bend. The tear of love, rolling down, wetting cheeks, and biting lips. Unkempt hair hiding burns, of passion, past and some praise. O ! My Love, "Whither art thou?"

u stayed with me. thru this ordeal. when i cud lean on. and cry on. you stayed with me.. fr heaven and hell. and told me i was rit n gud. i nvr thot i wud surpass this. for i feared i mit brk dwn. but u held my hand and brot me thru. for god knows i needed u. he sent u to me. for hearing me out. and letting me carry on.. till this was over. the time has passed.. wen my eyes were wet. but these eyes r now wet. cos of u. for ur love bro, i can cross the seas. and war the world. for ur love, i am happy i had. love u!!

Unpicked calls, communication falls.. I wonder why optimism fails. Days spent alone lonely and bored, speaks volumes and more, through the face he adored. Mails have stopped, from a frequency that topped. It makes me wonder, if the reason is more than a thunder. Keep wondering, I tell myself. And wondering about heaven and hell. For your love is lost. And now, is just a ghost. The later you know, the later you hear, the better, I am sure. Yes! Let it be late. Just a bit later than Never!

ഒരുപാടു പ്രണയിച്ചു ഞാന്‍, നിന്റെനിഴലിനേപോലുമെന്‍ ഹൃദയതിന്നുള്ളിലെ നീര്ത്തടത്തില്‍.. സന്ധ്യകള്‍ ചേര്‍്ന്നൊരാ വര്ണ്ജാലകം തുറക്കാതെയെന്നോ നീയെന്‍ മനസിന്റെ വഴികളില്‍ വിഹരിച്ചുവോ? പാതിയടഞൊരാ കണ്കളും പിന്നെയാ വാര്‍്മുടിക്കെട്ടിന്റെ ആലസ്യവും, ഏതോ കിനാവിന്റെ മര്‍്മരം കേള്‍ക്കുവാന്‍ മോഹത്തിന്‍ മൂര്‍ധാവില്‍ വീണുടഞ്ഞു.. എന്‍ സിന്ദൂരമുഖരിത രാവുകളില്‍. എങ്കിലും എന്‍ പ്രിയതമാ ഇന്നു ഞാന്‍, വേര്‍പാടില്‍ ഒരു രാവ് തീര്‍്ക്കുവാനായി ഇത്ര അസ്വസ്ഥയാവുന്നതെന്തിനാണ്? എന്‍ തനൂ ഞെളിപിരി കൊള്ളുന്നു വ്യര്‍്ഥമായി.. ഈ വാക്കുകള്‍ നിന്നടുതെത്തുന്നതിന്‍ മുന്‍്പായ്, ഈ രാവിന്റേ മൃത്യു ഞാന്‍ കാണുമെന്നൊര്ത്തോര്‍്ത്ത് വിരല്തുംബിലെ കറുപ്പിന്‍ കളങ്കം മായ്ച്ചു ഞാന്‍ സ്മ്രിതിയിലെ വര്ണസ്വപ്നങ്ങളില്‍ സ്വയം നിര്‍വൃതി പൂകുന്നു..

The pain of being apart, wonder why... The rose of Valentine is withered and brown. The pages of my book, have a rosy tinge now. Still, I am here. And he is there. Letters scattered on the table, waiting to be reread; again. The dungeons of my mind, getting desperate and worn. Of thoughts; unfavorable, pessimistic. Singing a melody on the death of life. Oh! An elegy for you, Life! They flowered, withered. Flowered yet again. And here, Spring is late. Time's gone on.. My hair's turning grey. Will I ever bloom? Or remain broken, waiting and worn? The pain of being apart, is too much for me, to bear..

When he thought of hugging me, I told him not to. For the fear of wanting more. For the fear of asking more. When he thought of kissing me, I told him not to. For the fear of swooning. For the fear of self abandon. He left me. Thinking I am inept. And he flirted and slept. My heart ached. It was a pain to see this. I cried every night. And wet my pillow. And then, one day, he died. And that day, I rejoiced. For he was mine, now. Till eternal bliss.

O! Wanderer, tarry a little. Take me with you, For I am fellow less . May be, on the way, we might talk. Or if fortune favors, we might befriend. Cartons of loads, come with me. You don't have to share it. But just keep my pace. O, the load. Its nothing important. Just some past deeds, that weigh on my back. O my wanderer, please stay back. I have to pay something, for all this weight. May be, I will keep on paying till my death. Or just a little and move from here. The wanderer tarried. Was with me forever. Gave me company and heard my talk. I guess, we became bosom chums, who had a pace and were at ease. Everything I did, the Wanderer too did. For it was my shadow, who shadowed me till death.

Looking at his faded picture, my eyes blinked away tears. The days we enjoyed together, partying dancing, or just walking. Savoring those thoughts, I closed my eyes. Remembering those days, when we had no grey. When, when we were together. He is gone.. Telling me, he would wait there. I wish I could be with him. May be, its time. To join him; My Love. Gotten ready, I hugged the faded picture. His faded picture, close to my heart. And Waited... The next dawn saw, a large mob in black, mourning a soul.

A forgotten poem, is burning in my heart. To just burst out and play its part. Wonder what it has to say! A sorry? To the Angry Lover? Or a hai? To a familiar stranger? I wish I could let it burst. And play its part. But God forbid, If it's a sordid confession. If it were, I would rather die. Bursting my heart. Than .. Than to let it out.