Sep 30, 2009

"Passion has no footing of reason. Passion is indifferent to reciprocal emotion, it needs to express itself to full, live itself to very end, no matter if all it receives is kind feelings, courtesy, friendship or mere patience. Every passion is hopeless, if not it would be no passion at all but some cleverly calculated arrangement, an exchange of lukewarm interests."

Sep 29, 2009


I will be off net for some time now. Mostly a month or two..
Gotta learn a bit of this and that.
Do miss me and take care.. :)
Will read your posts when I get time..
Please bear with my late reactions.
Love you all.

Sep 26, 2009

I, The One. Oops! Mr. Square Root One.

They call me Mr. square root.
I, the one, the weirdo,
I the one that speaks in math,
I the one that dreams old math.

I eat all stuff,
that will help my brain
spinach, leafies
and no non veg.

Still they think am nuts and all,
For I have never made normal talk.
Call me a nerd,
But they dont think I heard.

All in all,
I think am good.
Why calling me all that would
be nothing more than forever good.

-A nerd.

Starry Eyed.

Splendid is the isolation,
Beautiful, the charm!
Of lusty winds that
cover my farms.

Night is dark and
the flight of lark,
back to nest to
meet her pet.

Moon is round and shining bright,
love is raining this moonlit night.
The tree house and its woody charm,
I am lost in a lovely hoodlum's thoughts.

The day has passed
and night has come.
I wait for him,
my lovely chum.

Far in the distant land he rides,
Power in hands and towering heights.

Here he comes my Prince, my love.
Holding reigns of countries two.
"Shower of moonlight,
power of love,
What more is needed,
my sweetheart, love?"

I stare at the stairs of my wood tree house,
flowing with love for my Prince, my Knight,
all starry-eyed...
All starry-eyed.

Sep 24, 2009

Tweet tweet tweet.. :)

What is their damn problem with Shashi Tharoor?
These Indian Express people?
Let him tweet all tweets he want. It is his personal business. The hype about "cattle class" is fine. But if he has a goddam big workload, it is his business and he has every bit of right to whine about it. Or in this case, Tweet about it. :-|
All those polls and snippets.. They are trying to make a controversy where none really exists.. Well, want him down dont you IE? :-|
The poll "Should Tharoor step down from his Ministerial post?" ended up with a whooping 96% No. I guess the Indian Express people, jealous cronies and the Opposition made up the other 4%. :P
Keep Tweeting Tharoorji! :)

So, My Tweets can be found in here. I just opened a twitter account. To check out Tharoor [obviously not in the wrong sense. :P].
Who knows, I might end up tweeting a lot, much like my blogger friends say, cos I do a lot of one liner blogs. :)

Take care.
Happy Durga Puja!

Sep 22, 2009

I dont see much of selfless love around in the world.
A mother's love is said to be the best form of love for humans. Even that is cos, the baby is hers. It is her own self or a part of her she loves.. :)
The fact that an adopted child is not loved as much by a mother proves my point.

Sep 21, 2009

Love Thyself. :)

The bestest thing about being me is that I am unique.
No other me in the whole goddam world.
Know how beautiful it feels? :)
To be me?

I love being myself, with all the flaws and goodness in me.
Once, I remember telling a friend of mine when asked how I could love people so much, "You love yourself first. Then you start seeing yourself in others. And then you love others as much."

Corollary, "If you can't love yourself, you cant love others." [Same as what Jesus advised. 'Love others as you love yourself.']
And trust me, when I love the way I am, it is easier for me to love others. Including their imperfections.

And anyways, it is their imperfections that complete them. :)
Take care guys..
It feels awesome to be me. :) Dont you too?
A happy Durga :)

Sep 20, 2009

Apple of my Eye..

Man of my dreams,
Virtues extreme,
thy name is not God,
but a synonym of Lord.

I shelve all my pride,
and love thou, a bride,
only to know,
I should rather have cried.

Peace be with you,
Prosperity be with you..
Forever till I die,
you'll be the apple of my eye.

New Awards! :)

Man, I donno what people find so good about my ramblings to gimme awards.. :)
Well, that reminds me of my past promise to share the "Superior Scribbler" Award.. Just that I was not in a mood till now for light things..

So, coming to the awards I just received, Rahul has been the kind one this time. :)
And not just one or two but!!! Three awards.. Hehe.. Thanks Rahul, I think that made my week. :D


Yeah, that is another blog buddy I have earned on the blogosphere. :)

And... One Lovely Blog Award


This suits my template. :D And my fav color is pink and its variants... That makes me a bit more happier about this award than the rest.. :)

Then, the fluorescent violet, "I love your blog" award..


That was beautiful. Thank you RSV. :)
When you said, religiously following my blog, did you mean it? :D


Now, to the award giving ceremony I had pended for long. :D
The Superior Scribblers..


To G3 : A going away present. [ Read "Happy to get rid of you" present. :P ]

To Ramya : Though she has been conspicuous in the blogosphere for sometime with her absence of posts, she is an ardent blogger, in love with her blog. :)

To RSV : He has been an ardent blogger. Has been kind enough to go through all my ramblings.. And comment on them.

That is as much to it. Though I wanted to give it to Amit too. So passionate about his blog.. :) It shows on his visitors count. :) But he is the one who gave me this award. :) So..

Anyways, that is that.. Long post.
The award ceremony is over. :P
Tata! :D

Durga Nandan

Sep 19, 2009

"Life is a box of chocolates." They say.
I say, "Make sure you don't fall for the wrapper color."

I, for one, love the white milk chocolates more than the dark chocolates. Crazy about Ooty's homemade chocolates. :D

Sep 18, 2009

[Very]Miss Creant.

Disclaimer : Any similarity to the living or dead, is purely coincidental. This story, is fictitious and has nothing to do with anyone's life.

So, here it goes.

I am dying. Yeah, death on a wheel chair. Ever heard of that? Slowly wasting this beautiful body. And all the 'assets' men looked at and paid for. Why?
You may ask. And sneer. Why did I choose this life? Did I ? Honestly, did I have a choice?
What with, love for him on one side and complete trust. And unseen future on the other side?
I was robbed of my innocence, my purity and love, all in a single night. All by the same person I adored and loved.

No no. This aint any melodrama. This is life. My bloody life! He had me that day. And then, the next thing I knew, I was dragged from my wedding bed to his friends.
You know crying never helps. I cried out loud. They did everything they felt like and he abandoned me.
Serves me right. Leaving my parents for the 'love' he gave me. For all those sweet nothings.

For some days I cried, begged. I strayed on the streets. Then one night, a man came. Offered me money to have me.
I thought why not? I have nothing that is mine now. I was hungry. I was angry. With myself.
I never tried returning home. Bro would have found that insulting. Dad, a burden.
So, there I was selling my body, my looks. I joined a brothel and soon became the hottest 'commodity' there.

You know the best part? My 'husband' one day visited me there. The brothel. He had asked for the best. I saw him and suddenly was taken aback. And then, in control, and without emotion, removed my saree. He left without a word or a second glance.
Must have told his friends. They came in, one by one. Secretly. Had me again, more brutally than before.

And then the usual swear words. Being a whore aint easy. You give them you and they give you pain. You are a thing. Not human. You have to be in my shoes to know how I feel. Some ask me to remove my mangalsutra. Not that I mind it. I, in fact promptly remove it. But that, somehow reminds me of the past, when I had his love. Or felt he loved me. It is blissful. The blush I had on the wedding day.. Like any bride, I wished to be adored. Ceremonies were not the issue. The issue was the feel of being "wanted". And this mangalsutra, is my token of love. My past, my memories. Me. The inner me. Anyways, I didnt need the mangalsutra when I was whoring.

So, I made money. Lots. My body has always gotten eyes like metal to magnet. And I learnt my trade pretty quickly. Thank god I saved enough to buy me medicines and that surgery and this wheel chair. What??
Dont stare. I was good looking. Somebody payed me with money AND AIDS. And surgery, for a small benign tumor. Not that it changed anything after the surgery. I was destined to die. Everyone is. Just a bit early for me. The tumor grew back. Malignant.

No, nothing has changed. I was a tumor. Now, I have a tumor. My body was sexy. Now, it is sexually diseased.
So, that is that. Max, a month. No one to even push me around. Brothel ditched me. He ditched me. God ditched me. And I am thinking of ditching life.
The problem being, I am not even strong to kill myself now.
Can you help? I am dying. Can you just make it a bit earlier? Can you kill the wheelchair whore? Hahahaha! Wheelchair whore! I hate this damned pain.
Can you kill? A little help?
Kill me!! Kill... M...e...

Sep 17, 2009

Be with the one you can trust your soul with. Not the one you can trust your secrets with.
Cos one day, if they sell your secrets, you live to bear the shame.
But if they sell your soul, you are no more alive.

Sep 16, 2009

Count your chicken...

They say dont count your chicken before they hatch.
I ask "What if the chicken die after hatching well?"

So when do we count them?

Sep 15, 2009

You Pro America?

I have always been known to hold a grudge against the US or North America in general.
Why? Is a question I have faced for a long time. Apart from the war tactics and politics they use, [I dont blame the minority public there, but those that elect George-Bush-like presidents, have to share the blame.] there are certain ways they experiment with human lives. Some are public, some are not.

Those in the past are public. Almost all. Three decades ago, a fiasco was born. From the CIA. The undercover agents of US. Almost all their work includes ethics-less and lesser than human deeds. And they are not held responsible for any of the methods they adopt.
Coming back to the fiasco, they used the mental patients in Montreal's Allen Memorial Institute to experiment on human brainwashing techniques!!! CIA needed this to control brains during the Cold War with the USSR. Or so they said.

The patients were taken into a dark room, called the Sleep Room, and subjected to all sorts of experiments and tortures. Yes, they dont give a damn on what their own citizens go through. Who cares about the world!!
The doctors were sponsored by the CIA and money flowed like hell.
The patients who were only a bit abnormal ended up being schizophrenic after the so called "tests".
Many lost their lives cos they could not remember their names, their husbands or own children. They were injected with drugs, given electric shocks, put in hypnotic comas for long, just to destroy their memories.

Ewen Cameron, a psychiatrist, who decided he had the power to change people and make them "better" was the 'doctor' behind all this. And after the CIA abandoned him, the Canadian Govt funded him.
To this day, both the CIA or the Canadian govt, has not admitted that they have tweaked the memories of people. Though more than 150 people are living in the asylums waiting for an apology and cure, as living proofs.

They test out far advanced tortures than physical tortures, this CIA. Tapes, with irritable muZic and painful and violent memories are constantly fed into the headphones of the intended and all they have to do is, sit back and wait for the mind to crack. With narcotics induced crime confession however, only the thing you dont want to say and pressurises your mind at that moment, comes out. Whereas, this method cracks the whole mind up. And once, the balance is lost, there is no going back. NO GOING BACK!
The patient records were destroyed the moment the fiasco was out.

Ewen came to realize his methods dont work in 1964, by which the time had flown by with mental peace of lots of families, and resigned from the hospital.
The patients who later went to court for apologies and to bring the CIA to books, settled with money outside the court. Who knows they might have been threatened as well.

If they can do that to their own countrymen, they can do worse with us. You , me and us.
Now, how, is not a big question. They have "movies-come-true" technologies.
I will talk about the methods, may be in another of those posts.. But rest assured, the psychological warfare they can unleash, will damn the rest of us. And it is the most advanced form of torture and coercion.
No govt is safe, no country is. I cant imagine what they would do to others, if they can do this to their fellows.

External Links : The movie based on the patients' lives in the asylum.

An article link, by a press person, that seems to be tampered with.

One wordpress article that has survived.

Another important link.

A tape script of a victim interview.

Are you still pro America? :)

Sep 13, 2009

Nostalgia -2

Fond memories take a peak in 10-12th standards and I got the maximum exposure there. I remember doing a drama in Sanskrit with Manikandan sir, being the "Prakruthi Matha" in my flowing green frock. :)
Asking him if he sang lullabies to his children. :D I even didnt know I 'should not' ask him about it. He replied "Kutty paadum" [Wife sings.] And talking back at him when he said I should have more "love" when I talk to my subjects, the living beings, as "Prakruthi Matha".
And then, doing the Children's film with Sadanandan sir, juniors and seniors for DD Bharathi. Two of them had a fight over who was gonna be my hubby in it. :P Haha! The bulkier won. :D
The Rashtrapathi Testing Camp at Hyderabad, where I almost fainted cos of the rigorous testing schedule from 4am to 11 pm. Thanks to Meenakshi ma'm from Chennai for ignoring my pleas that I would not be able to attend the rest of the tests cos I was not well that, I made it. And my name remains in the Roll of Honor in school Hall of Fame. I am the only Rashtrapathi Awardee in my batch, guys included.

The "PCThomas" [the famous entrance coach in Thrissur]-less days I enjoyed in contrast with the others behind entrances..
The li'l sweet Preetha ma'm slim, exuding happiness and energy, who was my math teacher in 12th, begging me to study and do well in math. :D
I never did very well then. :) And still, she loved me and I loved her back so much that my Amma was jealous. :D And she told her husband that I was like her own daughter for her.
But I still did not learn anything then. I just didnt like Probability or anything else in the text book. :| Now I do. May be cos of her pain those days, I have to learn everything I skipped then, now for CAT. :)

Usha ma'm who would always catch me for being the 'Alice in Wonderland' as she herself calls me, for day dreaming in the class. Two months back, when I met her, she shared her reminiscence about how once she caught me and I retorted. I remember I was not day dreaming that day but taking notes. :) We both laughed at the memory.. :D
Bindu ma'm our physics teacher who would always find me doing some mischief in the class or lab and shout at me [that temper of hers!! :-o ]. Finally when she sees my grin, she starts laughing with me. :D And we end up sharing the mischief.. :D
Sanal sir, who was the librarian and too enthusiastic to remain just a librarian, would almost always find me in the library reading and would greet me whenever I went in and ask which book I was on then. I remember the only day he was busy with something and ignoring me, was when the "school topper" :-| was in looking for some reference books. Man, I still sulk at that memory. Humph! He would not even turn his head and acknowledge I was there.
Jaya ma'm was an exception. She was our English teacher in 11th and 12th and a great show off. I really hated her plastic smile. And stupid jokes. She would crack a PJ and look at my face expecting me to laugh. I mostly felt like crying though.

Pamela ma'm who would always be behind me asking for the Records. I was a constant defaulter. :D Hated [Still hate] Chemistry. Labs were the best part. I made mixtures of the available solutions and made multicolor solutions behind her back. Golden, Red, yellow, green, blue!!.. And I remember my Lab exam in 12th, when I was asked to analyze some stupid mixture and during one of those tests, I inhaled the gas coming from the test tube so deeply that I fainted. :-| [Of course I had no idea what that gas was then. :P] Preetha ma'm came running in to lab with worry. Had to redo the test after gaining back my consciousness.

Man, those were the days!! :) I see myself after more than a decade now and still when I go meet my teachers, they talk to me like I am the same old gal in school.
The school has changed a lot, I have changed a lot, but the nostalgia it gives, remains the same. :)

- A Proud KV Alumni.

Sep 12, 2009

Nostalgia -1

Teachers have always left more impact on me than any other clan in school, during my school days.

Neither friends nor seniors or any other group could affect me the way they did.
Though I was late in realizing how lucky I was in being at a place like that, spread across the world, Kendriya Vidyalaya, a chain maintained by the KVSangathan under the govt. of India.
Such qualified and trained teachers! Such dedication and friendliness!
I see my comrades in school walking away to distant places to work now. Miss that place.

I remember, the first class there..
I went in with dad and my friend Frijo who was my classmate from the KG classes and his dad, and was worried to find everyone crying. Man, I went over and consoled some who were crying.. And then settled down, grinning at my dad who was standing at the door. Dad grinned back.
He came over and introduced me to G3, Moorthy uncle's daughter and asked me to make friends with her. I was determined to not like her the very instant and ran over to some other place right then oblivious to anything he further said. That day starts the 17 year old 'snake-mongoose' friendship between me and her.

After everyone settled down, my first class teacher there "Ms. Sujatha" came in with some books and attendance register. She took the attendance and asked the parents to leave.
My dad left too. She introduced herself and started off with the Social Studies text. I started getting uncomfortable. It is one thing to have dad and cry and another to not see him and feel insecure. Almost all had settled down cos no one gave a damn about the crying anymore. No one was there to see anything of that sort. And the class teacher strategically ignored every single one of those cry babies. So everyone had finally settled down.

And then I cried. I missed dad. And put a stop to all class activities and got up to tell her I wanted to see dad. She tried saying he had gone to get some books. I countered saying I went with him to get all the books myself. Finally she had to make me believe dad had gone to get some books out of list for me. And had to give toffees to make an argumentative me shut up.

From there, the journey was pretty happening with English teachers being my favorite and them showing favoritism to me as well. ;) I remember Leela ma'm who would shout at me for every silly mistake I made and gloat over my marks, in 5th.
Then Sivadasan sir from 4th, who would give me pinches with his inches long nails for stupid mistakes like "writting" and still make me the tutor of weak students in the class.
Goes into 9th where Ms. Joan Bridgett Jose who would not mind anyone knowing I was her fav. I remember presenting my first [publicised] poem in the class one day. And getting appreciated. She stopped all her work to listen to my poem. :D
And then Ms. Clotilda Roacha, in 10th, who would not lose any opportunity to shout at me [or the class in general.] but at the end of the year, she called me to tell me it was all for good. :)


Sep 11, 2009

Something I saw on Orkut. :)
showing 1-2 of 2

Vinay.. Happy News Everybody.... Our dear Sini miss gave birth to a girl child on 25th april 2009...!!!

Binu woh... woh..........thatz a glad news.........
boy or girl??????


How dumb can anyone get? :?
It is my Happy Budday today!! [:D]

Happy Budday to me!! :D

PS- I got a wish today. From an unknown number. Actually, no name, no number. No call back option. Nothing.
"Happy b'day"
Was signed "Me n my galfriend"
And it had only one option to press "Ok"
I pressed that and the message disappeared. :(
Weird. Aye?

Sep 10, 2009

A something that might interest my random blog readers too.. Please check this out.. :)

A Question

And leave your comments.
Today, I will just raise a question.
Why is Srimati Pratibha Patil so inactive compared to Kalamji?

When he was the President, every single day, he motivated students, contributed to India in science, politics, peace, and what not! Parents pointed at him and told kids "Be like him one day. Aspire!"
His words about dreaming and achieving still ring in all hearts. I started scourging papers cos he appeared in it often and motivated me.

Every single day, you got a news about him, sensible and encouraging and motivating. I used to love the way he carried himself. If you ask me, he should have been given another chance at the office. :)

I seldom see Smt. Pratibha in the news, at least, apart from the 'diplomatic visits' she makes to foreign countries.

President has to be active and conspicuous. Rather than appear only when it is very unavoidable.
I don't care if it is a lady or man, just put forward models for the young generation. Ask respect from the middle aged. And comradeship from the old [considering the average age of our presidents] . We call you our first citizen. First and best. First woman president, should not she leave her own marks of excellence in the history? Should not the title be lived up to?

I am just saying, she could be better at this.
Just take care ji. And all the best.
Jai Hind!
Durga Nandan, a citizen.


Sep 9, 2009



Thanks for the award Amit! :)
That was nice of you.. Still thinking of 5 people. :D :D
Durga Nandan
Daily News : Sonia to decide on YSR's successor.

Daily Dose : And I thought India was a Democracy? Sonia decides! Huh!


Sep 8, 2009

Recent Read

I read Digital Fortress. I have read Da Vinci Code.
Now, the thing with Dan Brown is, once you read one of his books, you can actually figure out that the one who appears to try to help, always ends up being the one behind the scam. At least, in those two, it is so.
And it so very predictable after sometime. The way someone tries to be very "clean" you get a feeling he is upto something.
And for those who have read it, I donno if you found it obvious, the Ndakota, being an anagram of Tankado, was evident and glaring. Or may be it was cos I love anagrams. And I wanted to shout at them for not understanding it right away.
And all those stupid 'High Intelligence people' could not figure out about the Uranium Isotope code. How many prime numbers could be arrived at with that many limited numbers?

Man, I didnt find Digital Fortress thrilling me as Da Vinci Code did. May be cos it was his first attempt.. Eh?

The Godfather by Mario Puzo was wonderful. Though for a day I always glanced back to check if someone was following me. :D
Eager for the next parts... Sadly I decided to spend on some other books than its sequels..

And now, am with Twilight the first part. Donno, Stephanie drags it a bit too much.. Does not she?
I donno if I will be patient enough for the second and third parts..
The fourth part is only a thought. I bought the first three parts. :(
Man !! Look at me! I am sad I bought books!! :-o


Scratching ahead,
I write and write.
Forging away,
wills and works.

Sharpened, broken,
flaunted, fought.
My bro is praised
mightier than sword.

Helping around,
I lessen and die.
Lead by lead
and finally dead.