Mar 30, 2010

The Sad Story of a Bakra -1

As usual, A, B, E, J and M had ganged up at ABE's house. J, M for a visit. [ Edit :A, B, E are cousins of J and M. J being yours truly. A and B are guys and E and M, my type. :) You will start liking us soon I guess. :)]

E : I broke my tooth.
B : Again?!!
E : :(
B : The old one or this time another?
E : Old. But the hole got bigger!
B : Show show!
E : Eee..
B : Wow! Now I would not need a football net. I could just play into your mouth!
E : Enough ok?
J : Does it hurt?
E : No man. It is a tooth. Teeth dont hurt!
J : How sad! :P
E : You guys just keep irritating me. I am gonna sleep.

We all wait for M1 to sleep. We get into the room. Switch on A's lappy. Put muZic at top volume and dance. Ah! you should see us all dancing.

E :  OMG! What is this hullabaloo? Cant a human sleep around here with peace?
A : [singing along] I can be your hero babe! :D
E : Shut up! And get out of my room!
J : Wont.
B : You go out of the room.
E : This is MY room!!
J : Why dont we pull her out of the bed?
A : Yeah.
B : Poor thing. Let her sleep na?
[And then, he goes to her and pulls the blankets away.]
How dare you sleep when we are dancing here?!
E : Please??
Chorus : Noooooo!

E : [exasperated] OK fine! I am leaving. And DONT follow me. Get that?
Chorus : Yes mam!

She leaves.
Soon everyone loses interest. And we switch off the muZic.
We all sit down on the cot.

A : Why is she sleeping when we are all not? Lets wake her.
Chorus : Yes!!!
We go silently into the room.
One starts singing. Another shouting. And the third, pull her blankets away.

A : This is MY room. Get up!
E : Please??
Chorus : Nooooo!
E : You ARE getting out. Now.
And she gets up and pushes everyone outside and locks the door.
We let her sleep.

After 1 or 2 hours, she wakes. And one of us runs into the toilet, closing the door behind.

E : I wanna go. Come out! Now!
J : Nope.
E : Fine. I have toilets downstairs.

She goes downstairs and finds one or the other streaking past her into every toilet available.

E : Puhleeese??!!
Chorus [from all sides] : Noooooo!
E : I am calling Mummy!
A and B run out of the toilets as soon as they hear the word Mummy.
A and B : Noooooo!

To be Continued...

She still pulls out the 'mummy card' whenever it is too much. But it is fun. Irritating her.
When we were younger, we were the Famous Five. And me, being the tomboy of the lot, always got to be George.
Now, everyone at one or the other corners of the country. And busy.
Miss you guys!

Thoughts on Gifts

People give you gifts.
They say its just Indians. But I have no first hand experience. So cant really say now.
Yeah. The kinds of gifts! Clocks. And glasses. And clocks. And crockery. And clocks again.
When you have a function at home, by the time you finish it off, you could as well start a crockery showroom. Or a clock shop.
What will one do with so many clocks? You have only so many rooms at home. And since you are already living in there, you have clocks where you really need them. So why clocks?
And the same reason, you wont need much crockery either.
So what we do is, re-gift it. And it rotates hands and rotate and once in a while ends up in the hands of the one who first gifted it.
But what! Indians will be Indians! And, he re-gifts it.

If you ask me, people should ask what the other wants before gifting them something. We imbibe other cultures. Then why not this practice? Or are we supposed to take in only those that are controversial?

Mar 26, 2010

Whadya Think?

How would it be if there was a fool proof test for love and then there were life long commitment pills and then an unbreakable vow? Would that be horribly pathetic or awesomely beautiful?

Mar 24, 2010

Maggi Noodles

If you check the Maggi Noodles cover, it is written "No Added MSG". And NOT "No MSG Added".
Cool play with words to hide stuffs. Btw, for those who do not know, MSG or Mono-Sodium Glutamate is otherwise known as Chinese salt, that has a peculiar taste if added and is addictive. If taken in excess, it is harmful to your nerves.

Any idea why people LOVE Maggi? ;)

Post Script : And yes, check out all your LAYS packets. :) You guys are in for another surprise. :)

Mar 23, 2010

Gentleman and Men..

Why Sachin is a gentleman...






Was a forward. I thought I would share it with you. :)


Mar 21, 2010

Chicken or egg?

So, back to the age old question. 'What came first? Chicken or egg?'
I ask back
"Which egg? Which chicken?
The mother of egg number 1? Or the egg of chicken number 1? The egg in the chicken? Or the chicken in the egg?"

I found my kind of an answer too. :)

"What does it matter which came first? As long as you have egg in your egg noodles and chicken in the chicken noodles?"

PS- I am a vegetarian advocate. My answer is simply just an answer. :P

Mar 19, 2010

You don't have to be married to God to worship him.

Why do muZic bring back memories? Especially emotional memories?
No I dont pride myself in being emotional. In fact I detest it. If it was not necessary that men be emotional to earn a living, why?
I remember why I left my love. Hehe.. Nothing worth a Bollywood movie. Just a very practical thing. Most call it by different names. Mine is the plainest reason and the truth. I was practical. I left her. Some call it ditching, dumping.. Wateva. I just did it.
At least, I am outright frank. My love loved that trait in me. God knows how many times it might have hurt her.
The last time I did it was the 'leaving'. I told her I needed to concentrate on my career. Yup that was exactly my reason. No hiding. I had too much stress on my professional side. Could not give much to my personal life.
She tried hanging on. Oh for a looooooong time. God knew why then. It is different now. :)
Know where life lead us both?
Owing to a lot of professional pressure, I never really had time to follow up on her life. Five years have passed. And I know where I stand. I have had my shares of promotions and pay hikes. I am successful now. Or as successful a man can be, without a woman behind him. I still eat out daily, my room looks bachelorly, I depend on hobbies to keep me happy, I party weekly.. Ah, that is a long list. And the saddest part, I have to resort to internet when I get to my flat. Nobody to wait up. :)
This is exactly why I hate being emo. I have a car, a driver, a flat in the so very expensive residential area of this city, I have a fat pay check.. I have all the 'Have'-s. And I still find at the end of the day, that I need something more. I missed out on 'need'-s.
When she pointed out once, I said it is a mental block to me, this 'getting close thingy'. She never mentioned it again.
I felt like a loser. I wanted to do both. Be successful and be with her. She was happy I chose the former. She always liked that in me. She drifted away from me after I made the choice. Or I let her go. She asked me if she should wait till I conquered everything I wanted. I was not sure. I didnt know if it would serve any purpose. I told her exactly that. Circumstances change me. I told her I donno how I might feel after I did everything I wanted to. It was simply unpredictable.

Yesterday, I met her. Again. My crisp suit and her business attire, we matched perfectly. That was the second time I ever saw her. In those years of relationship, we never really met. Once, after the choice. Weird. Right? :)
After closing the deal, she came to me.
"This is strictly personal, nothing to deal with the deal. Shall we meet up for coffee?"
".." I was unsettled by that if you ask me. I could not say anything.
"Heheh.. Not to bring dead ghosts alive. Dont worry. I remember a promise of 'forever friends'. For the old promissake?" And as though remembering something, she smiled.
I never knew I could like a smile so much. Only if I knew it some time back..
"How about the bird park? Dont they have cafes inside? Haven't been into any spots here yet. If you would please?"
"OK. Sure, why not?"

When I reached, she was already there waiting. A flowery skirt and white shirt. She remembers! Wow! Well, I like that combination a lot. I am surprised she still remembers. As I was about to take tickets, she waved the tickets from where she stood and I beelined myself to her. So much for being late. I remember when we met after my choice, she was late. By some 15 minutes. Profusely apologizing, she had settled down. We talked for sometime indeed. She had hid her tears very well. Her parting remark was "Thanks for giving me my day."
I had forgotten I had promised her a day. She looked nothing like her pics. Different, from close. Nevertheless was not bad. :)

Today, she looks great. Too different from what I expected her to look like. Not at all the serious business minded lady I saw yesterday. We got into the park and started watching birds. We talked about the day before's deal. And how that was going to affect both the parties. We walked. I wanted to know a lot of things about her. Life after she left, how she is now.. But I could not bring myself to talk about anything personal though this was supposed to be a personal rendezvous. And she didnt bring it up either. [Thankfully?] Probably restrained herself cos of the promise of not digging up ghosts.
As we walked, we saw this "Talking Macaws" pointer. She ran to the talking macaws as soon as she saw them. And watched the group that had the macaws put on them and got pics clicked.
"Can you put them on me like you did for them?" She said, pointing to the group who just left.
The caretaker smilingly put each macaw on her as she spread her hands out
"Pic lo na?? Mobile is inside." She pointed to her handbag.
I opened her bag and took out the mobile.
"Just open the shutter and the click button is on the side."
I see. She has changed her mob. She used to have a mob that I never saw anywhere else for real, other than her hands.
I took the pics on the mobs. It turned out lovely. Her skirt matched the colors of the macaws. 'Macaws on a macaw.' I felt like saying. Somewhere in my mind, I wanted it to be 'Macaws on my macaw'. Shaking my head, I returned her mob to the bag. She was trying to make one of them talk.
"Hello cutie!"
"Hello" She squealed like a child when finally it imitated her.
For the rest of the walk, I watched her. Not the birds. She could have been mine...

We entered a cafe. She had been chattering on like she would, long back. At nights I would forgo my sleep to listen to her. She had this energy that I never saw in anyone else.
Sipping the coffee,"So, this is the interest for the day I asked uh?"
"Never mind, I just asked." And she smiled. She would say that every time I had no answer to what she asked.
Saved by the bell, I thought as I picked up my ringing mob. And her.
"Lets talk later." I told the caller and hung up. "Sorry about that dear."
"It's ok.." And she smiled again.

After coffee, we walked towards the exit.

"So." She turned to me at the exit.
"Uh.. Nothing I guess.. Ok then, bye. And thanks for the good time."
"Yeah bye."
I watched her walk.. And then it struck me!! OMG OMG OMG!

"Wait!!!" I shouted.
She turned. And waited.
"Well.. Nothing actually.. I just.."
"Ok." And she looked around restlessly.
Was she already married? Where was she settled now? Will I ever meet her again? What would our kids have been like? Will she accept me if I asked her now? Should I?
I donno. I just donno.
"Well, you know.. Do you still like me after all what I did to you? Even after I said we can't marry?"
She laughed.
She turned to walk away. And then looked back to say,"You don't have to be married to God to worship him."
And she walked away.

By the time I had processed her words, my Macaw was gone. I had let another chance go.
But I was on springs. :) Cos I had her number on me now.
If you have any comments to add on the new template, please do it here.. I was told it is a bit difficult to stare at. :) Hence the poll. Would a darker shade of yellow be wokey?

Mar 18, 2010

I dont think reservation from panchayat level is going to do much in uplifting women. It would make a lot of pawns for men to play with though.
Better let ladies with guts come over. Than making silent dandies shadow puppets.

Mar 17, 2010

Types of Women

As I walked along the ways of life, I found out something. There are three types of women in this world.

Lookers, Hookers and Bookers.

Lookers are the ones that constantly take care of how they look. A mirror and a vanity bag [fully loaded god-knows-what-all] are their constant companions. Sometimes, you would have to dig an inch into their make up to find their real skin color. Their make up looks natural. But aint.
But yeah, some real good lookers fall into this category. Though they dont realize and hence this painting business.

The Hookers are people who THINK they look sexy and hot and attractive and yada yada. They dont need mirrors, though they have one, hidden somewhere on them. These people use dark [supposedly sexy] color lipsticks.
They would keep changing boy friends along with the color of their dresses. And they are very economical in dressing. A meter of clothe would suffice for a dress. They walk around in a supposedly seductive way.

Now, the Bookers. These kind are least bothered about looks. They are almost always seen with a book in hand. If not, the way to identify them is the pair of glasses they wear. Most probably, with a power 2+. Negative or positive, you decide.
Their looks are average or below average because they forgot how to look into a mirror, ages ago.
And now if they do, they would scream in horror seeing the alien with big red eyes, tangly dangles in lieu of hair and a plumper version of self...
The new brand of computer geeks, is actually a new version of this category.

You tell me if you find normal ladies anywhere. Dont ask me if I did research on this. I did not.:P


Mar 4, 2010

Grasses are Green and the Sky is Blue.

I came alone.
Then he came along.
We sang along,
Of love alone.

The safety net,
we built around,
torn and worn and
borne a wound.
To leave it now,
was our safest bet.
And we left it where,
it was barely let.

I stood back.
Looking into the horizon,
Watching as the dust settled.
His horse, a tiny speck.
Him, indiscernible, yet pounding away.

When the grass is taller than me,
When the sky is bluer than now,
I hope he will return.
I hope he will remember.
I hope he will remember..

Guess What!!

Imagine where I am from!!! :D :D

A newwwww monitor!!
Nah, dont roll your eyes like that! It is a big thing.

1. I bought it with 'legally' my money.

2. With a monitor so dumb, that I had to increase font size to +4, my eyes were taking a toll.

3. The adrenaline rush when you get something new.

4. Been four months the old monitor decided it would skew[screw? :? ] the whole screen up. I just realized that a spider I thought was black, was actually BROWN!!!! :-o

5. People were shadows of black till today. A hue and cry of black.

Tell me, wasn't I right in being excited??
Leaving for a week.. Gonna have a gala time with cousins at Bangaluru. :D
Ok, I have a side business. 2-3 exams.. :P
Wish me luck.. :)


Mar 1, 2010

What is Common?

Once, I was in the insti office drinking some water from the can kept there, when one of those gals I never made even a monosyllabic conversation with, while at our old college came upto me and we hit up a conversation. Slowly we realized, we both detested that college with equal fervor.
Within an hour we were whining about why we never tried being friends before. We bitched about the college all we wanted, together.

That is when I realized, it is not a common friend or interest that succeeds in making people thick friends in lesser time. It is a common enemy or a dislike that does.