Sep 5, 2013

Pre-marriage and Post-marriage with Pre-mish and our family.

എഴുതിയിട്ട് കാലങ്ങൾ ആയി .
This is going to be a mixed post. In terms of language and themes. It would also include the problems of a writer who has been out of touch with writing for a long time now.
Wanted to write before marriage about the hullabaloo people make around the bride. You feel special alright but you also feel awkward and disgusted sometimes. Wanted to pen every incident. But was kinda busy, what with my marriage and all. Still, some that stuck a glaring picture, penned down...
Co-worker before marriage one day - Are you shy? (Does it help that it was a guy who asked me this?)
Although taken aback, I was like "No, I already know the guy. And am not really the shy type."
കല്യാണം കഴിക്കുന്നവരെക്കാൾ ഡൌട്ട് ആണി കല്യാണം കാണുന്നവർക്ക്‌ .
"Love marriage ആണോ ? സത്യം പറ !"
There were women in my extended family who came and declared "You donno how to cook. How are you going to survive there? Oh you are gonna lose face for the family."
I find most of such stuff funny and irritating.
I was also busy tending to my marriage business. (So much shopping and getting ready I say!!!) Hence didnt have much time.
Thankfully no one came and had the guts to ask me "how much are you giving?" mostly cos they know what my reaction would be. Oh, except one. A friend had asked me over chat what I was giving the groom's family. I got furious and asked him to mind his own business. And he went about to apologize and tell me how he was not going to 'give anything' for his sister's marriage and was totally against that custom.

Anyway, 3 months into marriage and more than a year of courtship, I finally get time to pen down some stuff.

The scene changes once you are married. Every tom dick and harry then wants to know what the 'vishesham' is. (Which means "Are you expecting?" in a euphemistic way.) And the opening line always is "Oh you have gotten fat. Dont gain any more fat ok?" Like they were so concerned about my cholesterol levels before!
And the endless questions about whether I learnt to cook, what I cook daily and whether he likes the food. And about how his family treats me and stuff like that.
Typical nosy stuff.
The groom's family and extended family is quite religious on contrast with me. They were all asking what kinda prayers I know, whether I prayed for the day, how often I go to pray... Well it also irritates me a bit considering what Bible has mentioned about prayers "But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Matthew 6:6" which all these religious people seem to forget. Why should anyone know whether or what the other one prays? What good does it do to you?

Anyway after 3 months, all I have learnt about marriage is that, even though you live with a single person, you live in a glass house. All visible and vulnerable to the world. Or so the world thinks.
Another budday coming up together. :) This time it is me, my sis and my hubby who will be celebrating our buddays on the same day. Hopefully it is a good good day and a good good night. :)

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