Durga's Random Thoughts.

Actually, this is a post which needs an amount of humor sense and understanding of Malayalam. If you dont have either, please feel free to browse other posts, or leave for better work. :) And yes, the saying in malayalam "Mookkil Pallu Mulakkya" [Literal Translation- "Tooth growing in Nose" heheh!!! It just means, 'getting old before something that is usually done, is not done.' (Any better interpretations are welcome.:) ) ] So, for the ones who are carrying on, I hope you do really have a bit of common sense. :) Cos, otherwise, the post wont make sense to you.. :) Now, this was a chat, I had with a chat-friend of mine, one month or so before..While I was browsing thru my old chats, I found this piece and felt the analogy beautiful.. :) Sharing it with you... It was kinda 9 o' clock I guess.. An excerpt. Changed from our chat lingo, a bit, for better understanding. " Him : So you had a bonanza this time.Onam n bday. me : :) yeah.. but it was no bi...

The unpolished walls of my room, remind me of you. Your face was all wrinkled; filled with ditches and pitches. My life, is incomplete without you. My days , colorless and prankless. My nights, dreamless and empty. I loved your proximity. Your advices, help and recollections. When one day, it dawned to me, that You'll forever be gone from my life, I knew, my life would never be the same. The unpolished wall is still there, giving me company. It still reminds me of you. But granma, I still miss you.. I wish, always wish, you were near me.. With me, forever..

Suddenly one day I knew.. I loved you.. It was beautiful to know.. There was a spark without a flaw.. We went on caring.. and went on meeting.. But why? Why did this happen? I didnt know. And asked you.. You didnt have a clue too. I didnt love you anymore.. Suddenly one day, I realized that I didnt love you anymore..

I talk to myself. For no one does that for me. I sing to myself, and hear whatever I speak, rather, listen.. For no one does that for me. And love myself. For again, no one does that for me. No one is like me. and I am like no one else. And that is why, as someone said, "The more people I meet, the more I love myself." For no one else, Yes, no one else, does that for me.

I stand in the dark, staring endlessly. A false sense of security surrounding me. Unlike others, I dont fear the dark. I fear the light, which might alight my imperfections. I walk in the dark, searching my way and stumbling infinitely. But still, proceeding. When I tread in light, but- I feared proceeding. For the fear of next. I love the dark. And despise light. For, I feel comfort in the dark and fear, in light.

I dont find any meaning in life. 'Why' is something, I have been asking all my life. Why are we born? Why get educated? When, all we gain at the end, is Death? Why a marriage? Why love? Why some kids? When, all find final peace, only in Death? Why a car? A luxury bunglow? All this fuss about beauty? When, one day, all we have is, A ride in an ambulance (pee-pee!) a decorated coffin (to live in.) and six feet earth. To decay, smell and rot for the rest of your history? I always wonder. Why?

There is this guy I love. I admire and adore. The way he loves me and consoles, The way he tricks, teases and bugs. There is no secret that can distance us. The way he eats and yet tells me, 'I have to lose weight.' The way he says, 'I will never say 'Sorry'!'. And yet, rewords it for me.. The times when he talks about his granpa.. And gets furious about small things.. Life would be dull and boring, if not for you. You are something in my life, that I never wanna lose.. You are something that I would love, even in recluse. I just love everything about you. He is my 'bestest' friend, and my Brother! Love you man!! :)