Durga's Random Thoughts.

Distance yourself from me. As long as you want. But finally, the winter will pass. And the ice will break. The dew will have to return to the grass. If not, the grass will die out on its own...

Christianity is a religion. Hinduism, a way of life. :) Is religion a way of life? Or life, a religion? :)

Today's fortune: Choose to experience peace rather than conflict. Today's Misfortune: The problem is, the others might not think so. :(

Someone: da^n. i will have to make her sis. me: mm? y? him : sh*t :D me: mmm??? him : well nyway she is a fatty me: dont call her fatty. u have no rit to. :-| him : :D ok me: i m cutt ing the advice :P him: ok i wont but [a long gal's name] is too long me: :D : D : D sideways? :P

We, that is to say my bro and me, made up our own extensions for the grades IITs offer. The highest grade. Ex-cellent => Ex-tra terrestrials A-busable[by losers] B-earable[again for losers] C-ommoner's C D-amned P-ass => Pitiful F-^cked up :D :D

Btw, I am sure I will miss Mr. Dumbhead-Bush. : ( Obama does nt seems as dyslexic as Bush. : P

One of these days, I wished someone for his budday, on the wrong date. I knew the date. And had verified it twice on my mob calender. But! Some hallucinations and my always-confused mind later, I just decided it was already his budday. I realised it only hours later, that I had wished someone on the wrong day. It was then, that I thought about the lot many stupid things I have done in my life. Once, I saw ants in the plastic container my mom kept sugar, in. I promptly took it and put it on the kinetiser, as that was the only thing my mom let me touch in her kitchen, back then. And left to do something else.. thinking "All you stupid ants! You are gonna die. hahaha!!" Of course, it was a messy goo by the time I realised my mistake. And needless to say, I had a nice time scrubbing the kinetiser. :( Recently, I was coming home from Ernamkulam. Had to board a bus to Thrissur. As I looked at the buses that were on the stand, I found one with Thrissur written on it. The bus started...

There are some real kick@$$3$ who cant just mind their own bloody business. They keep asking people questions about personal life and things that would matter to you only when Bush becomes at least as sensible as a monkey. Unfortunately, I have had the 'luck' of meeting loads of them in my life. Almost all of them are really jobless and have real good nose for gossips. For me, the attackers have always been the 60+ year olds who were the neighbours of my dad's family, long back. Man, they are so interested in my whereabouts that I have always feared if they are trying to fix me up with some guys, they know. You know, you can never tell. Those irritable irritants. x-( They want to know every bit of your life, from the marks you got in a small class test in first standard to the disease your grandfather's second cousin's grandchild is having. Unfortunately, they wont leave you alone, without getting all what they want. [Even if you show them how irritated and unintere...

I am an Annoyed Paranoid . :)

The reasonS[!!] I stopped watching films. They are one bunch of emotional exploiters who make money on your emotions. They make people show off their bodies, to make a rush of audience to theatres. They make meaningless scenes just to bring the glamor factor into the film. Some songs, are utterly meaningless and do not go with the film's storyline. [I even wonder why there are songs even. People do not sing songs when they fell in love, in real life. And I am talking about the all-orchestrated-instrument-included muZic. Not our [my!] out of tune songs.[?]] They make some very 'wonderful' stunt scenes, which for a normal human being, is IMPOSSIBLE . [Thanks to them, Special Effects, is an industry now] Some defy all the sciences yet "discovered" by man. [God knows if they have already discovered "easy paranormal ways to fight" and are hiding it from us, the lesser mortals.] Most start off with a guy and a gal, [Either guy is poor or the gal] falling in lo...

Solitude is beautiful. A beautiful pain. The stars of memories haunting, blinking and smiling. Reliving again. Reflecting past, painful. Masochism brimming. In thoughts and deeds. I think of myself, pitiful. My life, a bubble, a water bubble. Escaping in sighs and pants. Murdered, by deeds past. Wish I had no solitude. No past... Wish I had no memories. No myself. Wish, there was no me.

I walked along, the edge of the cliff trying to decide how I could perform better. Would the scream be better there? Or the echo, louder here? Oh! Meaningless life, I will kill you today! Just Wait. I will kill you today. And I jump. I die. I kill life. Did it echo? I donno. Did I scream? Don' remember. How was the performance? No idea. Even my death, became meaningless then.

Wooing her was difficult. For money or what I do not know. My eyes glittered like her necklace. And to her ear rings they would race. No no. It was not money. It was never money. Only because she was a honey. After all she is the sole heir. Of a father, with receding hair. But when I wooed or tried to woo, her eyes would burn as if I am sticky goo. One day I heard, she ran away with him. And then I saw, the new 'Necklaced Lass'.

Wish my heart stopped thudding- The immense pain that weighs it down. Wish time stopped ticking- My sins, it has seen umpteen. Wish, my eyes stopped trickling- My tears can't seem to dry. Fighting guilt, feasting on fasts, praying louder, I look at my clothes. I look at myself. The nun, who never was a good one. Wish, I had never been..

Sometimes I wish, I could dissolve into nothingness. Love, to whomever it is, makes you vulnerable. It is a weak point. be it your bro, your friend, your love, your parents... Whoever. Life is a play of dice. You believe you will get a six on all three. But you end up with less most of the time. Once if you get six on all three, by the so called "luck", the next result will surely disappoint you. I wish happiness was the only emotion in the world. Though it becomes monotonous then, it would be a satisfied world. People are mad. Merrymaking when they are nearing death every minute. Of course, being sad, wont make a difference. Tell you what! There is no meaning in life. Just living on like they rule the world. That is what humans do. Whereas, even their own life is not something they can control. They are nothing. Even I am. Btw, So, have I not succeeded in dissolving to nothingness? :D

May be the world is forever round. Or the sand is forever ground. But this little piece of land, is my asset of pride, alright. Gone are the days I was landless. Gone the days of being penniless. My birth finally finds a meaning. And my wife, can now stop weeping. My kids can have their square meals now. The mud pots no longer would be dry. ...... Should I continue? I wish. But I will kill you, if I do. I dont feel like killing you. May be, I should let you live. Just give in to a bit of hope. Flourish and find peace. I am your God, your Creator. You are MY work. Yeah my farmer, grow. Flourish and find peace. I let you be!

They called me a stupid idiot. I didnt know what it meant. For all the words I knew in the world, Mommy was the one and only one.

I just came to know about a person, I know personally, has opted out of being a mother. "It is risky to raise kids. If by any chance I succumb to parental pressure and have a kid, I would rather not want a gal child." Now she, is a very educated and perfectly intelligent person [she is on for a PhD now.]. I just wonder why her motherly instincts are not working. Any woman in normalcy would crave for a baby. I personally Lurrrrv babies.. Most innocent things around. :) I understand it is risky. But if her parents had thought it as risky, she would not be there talking about it. And I am wondering, whether her husband has no problem with this. Well, if educated people are like this, I have no wonder why uneducated 'fear' gal children. May be, she meant the situations that influence a gal child during her growth. But still, if she can grow well, a lot of other gals can grow well, with right guidance, her kids can also be brought up well. If she talking about the responsi...

I walk. I keep walking. I keep sweating, to forget all my pain. I run. I keep running. I keep paining myself, to forget all my pain. At night, all I can remember, is that my leg pains. And all my body strains. No no.. It doesn't pain inside. It is just numb. All I know, is the pain outside. I just hope, it doesn't pain her. Anymore.

No. Dont ask me what is wrong. Everything is. Not just this. No. Dont ask me who is wrong. I cant confess. And feel the guilt. No. Dont ask me why it is wrong. All I know is, it is not right. And, no. Dont ask me how it went wrong. If I knew, I would have stopped. No. Just, dont ask me anything. It is all just wrong.

Let me pain myself, and keep you safe. Let my heart rip and wet your lip. Let this saga end, with none to offend, that man of mine, who's always more than just fine. Don't tell anyone. that we are one. One day if we part, who will tell we are apart? ...... I still keep my heart safe. Though you have left my life, I need it for you to dwell, when you come back and all is well.

Today, I was searching for "Funny pictures" on google. Well, google as usual, had given search links to more "probable" searches. Just as I ran my eyes on them, one grabbed my attention. "Funny jokes".!!! Man! Whom are you kidding!!! Jokes are supposed to be funny!! [roll eyes!]