Spittoons..

I remember the day I started working. Everyone does you know.. When they get thrown out..

Ah yes, I was thrown out. For something really silly.

I remember coming from my village in a Transport Bus and getting down to find the roads so dirty I felt like puking. We were poor at the village for sure. But our women always cleaned the place [for want of doing something most of the time. or because they were obsessed.]. Don't they have women here? I thought then.

I forgot to introduce myself. Ramu. Driver cum servant cum maali cum everything. Or I was. Until one day morning, suddenly. I used to drive their Maruthi Zen. Old model. Sirji's dad's.

Been working like a dog for three months and I get thrown out without driving that Skoda even once! Ah the goorkha at the gate, [I never made friends with him.] he told me why I was thrown out as I walked out of the gate with a smirk on his face.

I will tell you why. Today morning Sirji and Madamji went to 'close the deal' with the car fellow. They were buying a new car. And naturally the driver went with them. I went, we bought.

On the way back, Sirji drove. Reaching home, he went inside with his Madamji.

I looked around the car. Wow! steel. The seats were plusher than the other car. I had never seen the insides of a car like that. It had glass on the roof. Like old houses may be. You know, to let light in. Waah! Sirji! What a thinking!

I looked into the rear gap. You know, behind the back seat?

I saw a rug and two spittoons. You donno spittoons? Arrey yaar! We spit paan into it. This was the only time I felt true respect to Sirji. He had not forgotten the traditions.. First the glass roof and then this.

The spittoons, on either side.. covered with net, so that spit does not spill while the car jerked.

shiny vessels inside. Of course. Brand new.

Did I tell you I chew paan? Ah! I do. Only bad habit.

You know, then the very natural thing happened. I felt like I should inaugurate the spittoons. Both of them. I was the driver.

I went in, put fresh paan in mouth and came out. Chewing. When the juice filled my mouth, I collected it. And spat.

Sirji had come out and was looking at me. I had not noticed. From the portico. As soon as he saw me spitting, he came running shouting choicest words in Hindi which I cant say here [ We have children and women reading me ji.].

And beat me. And then he asked me to pack and leave. That same day. Madamji came out and stared not knowing what was wrong. I would not blame her. Even I didn't know what was wrong. Did Sirji want to spit first? He should have. I was not even given the due salary.

Well, on my way out, Goorkha, with a smirk on his face said," You are as stupid as you look. Are not you? You gauvalla? Will anyone otherwise spit on 1000 Watt PMPO [whatever that means!] Dolby Digital surround sound system speakers? " And he laughed. I wondered how they could not be spittoons. I still do.

On the next day, I saw Sirji's address. And an advertisement above it in the local newspaper. For a new driver. :(

I felt like telling him. Don't chew paan. You will get thrown out. Even if you do, let Sirji spit first. :(