Nov 5, 2016

Names, weird names!

So, these westerners ( yeah, we Indians do not really understand that 'West' actually means a set of 30-40 countries lying somewhere far away and not just a single place, but who cares! ;) ),  they have these very weird names.

The first time I ever came to notice that, was when I read Samuel 'Beckett' 's Waiting for Godot. I mean who names their child Bucket?? :-0
And then I went on to meet Arnold Schwarzenegger. And I am like, here is this guy, who is totally against racism that he names himself (Or his parents do) Shwasss - e - nigger  (Shwas means breath). Breath like a nigger! See he wants to show solidarity and breath like the downtrodden of the past(?). Even if that was not right, who put a child through the agony of naming their child such a long and difficult name to spell? I imagine Arnold in LKG. While all the other kids are learning to write "My name is Job Cutt (note the extra T!) or Sam Wise or Aida Morph and here is this poor kid writing Arnold Shwas-e-negger! And imagine writing that in cursive!!! He would have learned to curse by the end of LKG, I swear!
I donno if I am supposed to feel irked or quirked by this name play of his. Or rather his parents'. They didnt even give the kid a chance at school, did they?
Then I went on to meet (although in absentia) many 'Pit'ts who were Brads, Tom 'Cruise's (cruise where to?), Sean 'Pen'ns, Bruce Will is-es (Is what? no really? Finish that sentence, for heavenssake!), and my favorite, John Wayne. Why would any parent provide their child with a permanent branding that they are vain?? I mean, he might be. But why advertise it??

And once that teenage phase of mine was over, I started noticing the actress' names as well. You know, being totally straight and being under the influence of my own hormones. :P
Then I was aghast. I was missing major fun here. These names were wierd'er', if they could be any more of that.
Anne always had a way. Cameron carried around the setting of her diaz herself and Reese never like using others' cutlery. So she always carried with 'er a spoon. Hally 'Berry' really looked like a delicious sloe berry. So, I did not blame her. She was doing justice to her name.
I then went on to meet midgets (Kid men) and Saradons (Sarandons). Incidentally, Sara(i)don used to be famously advertised drug in India as a head ache relief. 'Sirf ek, Saridon, sardard se araam" The famous nostalgic ad used to ring around in my head every time the woman's name popped up.

Sandra Bullock took it to a whole new level. Not even a spelling mistake like the other parents had the mercy to bestow upon their kids. Bullock. May be their family owned a bullock cart, 100s of years ago or something. But give the kid a break!

Not that indian names are awesome or anything. We have, like Russel Peters pointed out to me the other day, Sukdeeps and Hardiks. (Read 'em out loud, if you didnt get it!)
Oh to hell with Russel, I had the luck to personally meet Ms Sheddy and Ms Shimmy. And I am still wondering about the agonies of nick names and double entendres they must have had to go through during their teenage years.

Till next time!

Note : People who don't get sarcasm or cant understand a joke are unwelcome to this post.

Nov 1, 2016

Chali Machine

This website lets you create "Chalis" (poor jokes) in Malayalam :, an initiative by a bunch of enthusiastic artists.

Here are a few I made (Click on the images for a larger version):-

Malayali's English


And Imagining what goes through my husband's mind when I ask him to taste stuff I make...

Kettathum Kekkathathum!

Hope you enjoyed!
You can also upload your own images and work on them as well. The possibilities are virtually endless.
Go ahead, make some chalis!


Oct 18, 2016

A New Way to Talk

The other day, I suddenly wanted to learn a new language. Not that my other languages didnt make a skid mark every time I try to form intelligible and engaging sentences out of them.
Tamil, a language I learnt after 4 years in Tamil Nadu to speak to developers and convey ideas faster to them. And to make sure they are not speaking behind my back, in front of me. :P

English, Hindi and Sanskrit, which KV(Kendriya Vidyalaya - the central government school in India) decided to engrave in every child who went through them.

And my Malayalam, which, I came engraved on. Although I never received any formal education for Malayalam, it became my ego issue when mom made fun of me when I was a kid, that I did not know Malayalam. I learnt Malayalam from the Bible, trying to read and understand all words in there. Probably why I realized religions were all (at least the one basing themselves on this particular book I was reading) based on just hope.

Unfortunately, now I am not able to use much of Sankrit (which nobody speaks in, these days, except the AIR news reader) or English (unless it is to the clients on the daily evening calls) or Malayalam ( except to the half baked Malayali I am married to). This has taken me to a situation where I mix up languages in a single sentence! "njan sandwich sapten!" (which is quite a weird way of saying I ate a sandwich, because it is in 3 languages)

Anyway, I realized that probably learning another language would help.
So I searched online for sites that help people like me. And I found 2 useful ones:

Babbel was the first site I went into. Although it is a paid service, it covers vastly the European languages.
As my attention span ranges from 2 minutes to 5 minutes, (for example, I did 15 other things while working on this blog, from morning) I tried other options and stumbled upon Duolingo.
The services are similar. But Duolingo is unique in a way that it makes you compete with yourself, earn points, and give you frequent tests. It is free so far. Also, it shows you what your progress is and what is pending. And mentions your level (Basic, Intermediate etc.) You can see the discussions ongoing, while you are working on the lesson and learn related things that other learners have discussed. This, adds value to what you are already learning.
There are other desirable items that I am still discovering. But so far, so good.

It was curious that in Sanskrit and French, the forms of verbs and roots are similar. But that is food for thought in another blog altogether.

Till then, Au Revoir!

Oct 17, 2016

E-rekha - An awesome initiative by Kerala Govt!

While I was browsing around in Twitter, I came across a tweet that mentioned that it has become easier now, to check the details of lands in Kerala.
Although I was skeptical about it at first, I clicked on the mentioned link, nevertheless.
The home page comes out as cold, dry and unpromising on the first look. But once I started clicking on each of those 'dry' links, I realized that it was more than just words. The links were clickable (contrary to the expectation on a government site, which if non-existent, would fatten the koshers of government 'servants') .
Search page worked perfectly.
FAQ clearly mentions what needs to be done.
You can even buy services such as documents verification from the site. There is a checkout page for this and the rates are also provided online. If you want the document verification done, you have the application form as well, online.
They have even mapped the number of entries in each of the blocks. With this kind of depth in details, you just need the survey number and everything is displayed for you on the screen.
If you want the document verification done, you have the application form as well, online.

2 things I could not verify (for obvious "monetary" reasons):

1. Checkout
2. Application form and response time.

But the survey numbers show up the old documents, scanned, with preliminary and resurvey records, online. For basic research before buying land, can definitely be done here.
Great work by Kerala Land Information Mission and Kerala Bureaucrats!

Time saved, red tapes removed.

You can also check out the details of kerala lands here :
It really surprised me, to say the least!

Mar 5, 2016


Manassariyathe paadunnu
Ithalariyathe novunnu
Arrival thumbinde munbinde
Eriyunna vayikkol
Naattil evideyo oru nertha

Mar 1, 2016

Her world and the shackles...

Confined to a room,
She wrote again.
The words of pain,
The words of doom.

Neither was she free when they were together,
Nor now, when he left.
Friends are gone,
Moved on and on.
Little left for a cheery hi.

When she is hurt,
It is all in the game.
But never hurt them,
Or suffer the storm.

Why oh why,
Did she choose this then?
Why oh why,
When the world was old?
Why does everyone shove ideas down the throat?

Where is that freedom she was promised?
Where is the day of happiness and choice?
Will her offspring be thrown in the same shackles?

If yes, she told herself...
She does not need to go on.
She does not need to mourn.
Let her be barren.
And let her be the end!