I just came to know about a person, I know personally, has opted out of being a mother. "It is risky to raise kids. If by any chance I succumb to parental pressure and have a kid, I would rather not want a gal child."
Now she, is a very educated and perfectly intelligent person [she is on for a PhD now.]. I just wonder why her motherly instincts are not working. Any woman in normalcy would crave for a baby. I personally Lurrrrv babies.. Most innocent things around. :)
I understand it is risky. But if her parents had thought it as risky, she would not be there talking about it. And I am wondering, whether her husband has no problem with this.
Well, if educated people are like this, I have no wonder why uneducated 'fear' gal children. May be, she meant the situations that influence a gal child during her growth. But still, if she can grow well, a lot of other gals can grow well, with right guidance, her kids can also be brought up well. If she talking about the responsibility part, well, she has taken up loads of responsibilities and done well in all of them. I cant find a sensible reason why she would not want a child. leave alone a gal child. I know a man who has four kids [all gals] and takes them around with pride. To mention of his situation, he is BPL and has had nothing more than primary education. :)
I learnt something. It is not education that matters. It is the attitude. the mentality towards things.
No wonder they say, Attitude Matters!
2 comments:
Yes attitude matters. Fear too matters just about equally. I don't think your friend has a problem with a girl child. If she had, it'd only be because she had a traumatic life as a child. That's not the case, going by your description of her.
If what she says is true, the problem should be with her husband and the in-laws. I won't be surprised if your friend is a North Indian or a Tamilian. This kind of gender issues are most prevalent in those regions. Hardly surprising, rural men from Bihar increasingly come to Kerala to find a bride since there's a scarcity of female population there.
But my gut feel says she's lying. Really hard to believe she's a Ph.D and fears having a girl child. It could be just a convenient alibi she's come out with to cover up a real physiological problem in child-bearing. Which, again, is reason for social stigma in our country.
Gosh! Never thought about the psychological part of it.. May be.. Just may be, she has a fear of it.. And her hubby's parents are quite supportive in this case. And they need a child badly. [gal or boy does nt matter from what i heard.]
Whatever be the reason, I just cant digest that part of not having kids. :)
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